Any suggestions on how to move Mom from an assisted living to her new Alzheimer specific home?

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We tried just a regular ALF because her doctors could not specifically say that her problems were not depression related but it is now apparent that it is more dementia than depression. My question is, how do I make the move easier for her. She wants to return to her private home which is not an option. Suggestions are welcome.

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VJFriensen6939 and Salisbury - you are both right - each patient is a person with a specific set of circumstances, and this is the perfect illustration of that. Thank you both so much for sharing.
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I am sorry but I have to point out that telling whole truths does not work at all with my mom. If there is a situation, or bad news, she get so upset and into a panic--this is not new. she works herself into a terrible state quickly and for what? She has forgotten the whole thing in a short time anyway. It is much better, IN THIS PARTICULAR CASE, to tell her that everything is wonderful. That is what she wants to hear and then she is calm and happy.
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Telling half truths will NOT help. There is enough stress without having to remember what was said last time, especially if she is depressed. My wife loves it in the ALF. She has vascular dementia and knows it and we talk about it openly since some years ago. Our daughters came to help set up the room (her part) (she has a roommate with dementia as well) so she could enjoy it and see the pictures of the kids and grand-kids and we provide her with Word Search books and she has her TV as well as her favorite chair so all in all she enjoys it. I am the care-giving advocate now instead of 24/7 caregiver and not able to handle all that involves easily. One of the men who came after we did to the retirement home just passed away today. Part of the reason - he moved in with her into ALF and remained her caregiver and she was a very demanding dementia person. Sad, but she is still living and in the SCC. God knows what is best and HE has shown us the move to ALF was the best for my wife in numerous ways. Look to HIM and ask the correct questions of those who deal with these needs daily. They told me I would go crazy if I moved in with my wife into the ALF. PTL, I did not make the move. I did not say it was or is easy. If the kids are aware of the needs - they can encourage and help. Our's haven't been so helpful except for the one who works in the hospital. I am a RN though retired and am also healthy. My wife has lots of medical issues though.
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Can you please direct me to that wonderful article called,Top 8 truths of dementia care giving?
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It is of prime importance that you make sure she understands your concerns for her well being and safety. Also reassure her that you will check in on her, and that you will make sure she is comfortable & well care for at all times.
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I have written about this so many times. We "tricked" my mom into moving-- with professional help.

A short time later, she had no memory of it. So, just push through, grin and bear it, it is horrible but you survive, and then, all is forgotten.
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I absolutely agree with the comment above. Make an appointment with a geriatric psychologist. At this point an accurate diagnosis is important so her new home is appropriate. Medication changes can also make a big difference. You might be able to use a behavioral health center as a resource. Many hospitals have them and some are short term in patient programs.
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Certainly a mental hospital would be a better choice than a personal care home. A PCH or Foster Home would be less able to deal with her mental situation and it could endanger her or the other residents. You want to do what is best and keep her engaged, and that is likely where she is safest as well.

I think you find a great geriatric psychology center and start with a full work up. I have heard that Emory in Atlanta has the best program in the SE US. You might want to go look at their website and see what they offer, and see if you can track down the best in your area of the world.
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I feel for you but strongly feel, again as a therapist working in these envrionments that a dementia unit would not be appropriate. She will not be with her peers and most likely become more depressed. Visit the unit. Determine if these other residents would be able to interact with your mother. Have you been to a gerontologist? I know this must be a nightmare to navigate the medical system for answers. Does she has her own home? What supports would she need to stay there? Is she really so depressed that she does not care for herself, self care, meals, etc? Do you have adult day care in your area? Adult foster care? Any of these could be options. I would continue to pursue a good assessment by someone familiar with geriatric depression. To be honest, she is still a young senior at 72. Good luck to you!
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forgot to add that she is also taking Effexor and now they have added abilify.
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