Should I move my mom 1200 miles so she can be closer to me?


My mom is 91 and has dementia. The one family member near by her has died. She has been in the facility over 2 years. My sibling visited her daily like clockwork so she is sad without him. I visit once a month, and could maybe come every 3 weeks but it is difficult. I have one other sibling that is 4 hours away but she comes about 4 times a year. I'm worried moving her away would be extremely hard although I think I've found a place close by that would be nice for her. I need advice!

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She is where she needs to be to live out the rest of her life.
Helpful Answer (1)

inatizzy, I agree with the other answers above, do not move Mom. Your Mom already knows her away around her facility, she knows the Staff, she knows the other residents, she knows the food, and the sights and sounds. If the TV is on the local news, she recognizes the anchors and recognizes the city/town names when mentioned by the anchors.

Moving would require for her to learn everything all over again, and at her age and with her memory issues, it would be very difficult. Plus finding new doctors, dentists, and every specialist doctor known to man kind. And she wouldn't know anyone except you, and you can't be there all day.

Therefore, keep her where she is.
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Others who have done this will tell you NO, it becomes an emotional disaster for them. They establish a sense of home and uprooting them is bad.
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I'll be facing the same situation soon with both parents. I'm 600 plus miles away.
Flying is out of the question, my Dad could travel in the car but mom would be difficult.

My instinct is to spare them the trip when the time comes for facilty care and make the trip as needed like I've been doing and see how things progress. Change like this is very hard for old folks with dementia.

With dementia, how much does your mom get out of your visits?
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