My mom just lays in bed, pops pills and drinks. How can I move her to assisted living against her will?

Hi Pricels,
I am dealing with some of the same issues with my husband whose heatlh is deteriorating. He is in severe pain, on oxygen; uses a walker and continues to smoke and drink. I have been going to Al Anon and have found it helpful in helping me to understand the situation and how to set limits to take care of myself and love and accept my husband.

Hi Pricels, I feel your pain my mother at the moment is popping pills and drinking. Because of previous back surgery she is hooked on painkillers now I administer the prescribed ones but she has gone underground and gets them from another source. We have tried to get help but she cannot be forced and also the doctors are reluctant to get involved further. I realise how depressed she is and I also realise she is an addict but sometimes it is really difficult to show empathy when all she cares about is when her medication is coming or who is getting her wine. I find it helpful when I speak to someone and also to do something for myself so that I do not become burnt out and also I have also to think of my children who needs their own mother to be centred on them not her mother.

Hi Pricels: I heartily agree with Braida. My mom was living with me like that, without the pills, and there was nothing I could do but get a part time caregiver, pray, and try to keep her happy and myself sane. She was on oxygen and would disconnect herself and come into the living room so she could smoke and have a drink. Neither were at her disposal. The doctor's prognosis was that she wouldn't be here much longer. She was gone in two months. I have always felt badly for letting her have these toxic cigarettes and vodka, but what would the withdrawals have done to her? She died at 71 years of age.

Hi Pricels,
It sounds like your Mom is an alcoholic/pill popper, and if this is the case and has been going on for awhile, you can't simply "take the stuff away" from her without her going into serious withdrawal. It's rather a complex situation. I've dealt with both alcoholics and pill addicts. If they want to do it, and are not legally declared mentally incompetent, your hands are pretty much tied. It's extremely difficult to see a loved one commit slow suicide like that, but it is tricky to get them off the stuff. She may have to detox in a supervised facility first. If she's unwilling, you may have to get the courts involved to find her mentally incompetent so that someone else can make the decisions for her welfare.
Best of luck to you, Pricels. I can identify with what you're going through. :(

I agree contact her PCP right away and take away the pills and alcohol. Find out what is going on and look into safer alternatives for her.

I agree strongly with Lilliput on this-----all meds and alcohol need to be in a safe place where your Mom cannot get at them-as they 2 do not mix.
To me it sounds like a strong case of depression-along with other (possibly) health issues involved. I think it is a good idea to have your Mom evaluated..and ASAP....and take matters from there.
Please let us know how you make out-and good luck!
Hap

pricels: we need a little more information. How is your Mom's overall health? How does she get access to "pills and alcohol?" Who is her caregiver now and does she live in her own home or yours?
Generally, if she is deemed competent, you cannot force her into assisted living if she does not want to go. Have you considered in-home caregivers to give you respite? Also, when is the last time your Mom was evaluated and given a physical?