How do we move mom, almost bedridden from California to Colorado for her last months? - AgingCare.com

How do we move mom, almost bedridden from California to Colorado for her last months?

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She can sit in a wheelchair for short periods. My parents live in Colorado, no family lives there. My mother is in hospice and my father is failing now with dementia. They have been on their own and now something needs to change. We would like them to be closer to family where we can be with them, and help care for them. If they stay in California they are all alone, and when my mom passes, which could be anytime, up to a year,my father would be on his own. We fly down as much as possible, but its not the same as being there daily as could happen in Colorado. My mother cannot be up for long, generally an hour is considered long so flying for 2 hours, and the time waiting at airport etc would make that difficult, but driving in a car for days would be impossible as well. And ambulance would be incredibly expensive. They do not have much money. My mom has Parkinson's, but dementia is what is taking her. SHe doesnt eat much, and lays in bed all the time. We would like for her to be with family for her last months, and for dad to be supported during all this and after. They are resistant to live with family, but we think we can talk them into moving now that dad is so wiped out from caring for mom on his own for a year. She is on hospice and we need to move all that to a new state. as well as his insurance etc. She can sit in a wheelchair for short periods.We dont know how medical moves from one state to the next either.

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I forgot to mention, we were 100% prepared and ready for medical / hospice support in WI when we got there. Hospice was aware, ready, and set up. A medical bed had been put in the home, etc. being prepared for accelerating the dying process was critical. As it happened he passed within a week of the move but he was at peace, with family (his desire as well) and his family, wife, friends by his side.
Rest in peace Uncle Kelly! We love you.
Best wishes to you and your family!
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I agree w others who have suggested an RV. We used one from NJ to WI for a similar purpose, on last days and hospice. We were VERY concerned he would not survive the trip. We felt comfortable w 3 drivers going straight through and sleeping in another bed in the RV. We also were fortunate to have a physician in the family who was able to manage any medical issues if they came up, thank goodness they did not. Perhaps a friend, volunteer from local church, hospice, or family member with nursing, PA, or MD could be part of the team.
Best of luck with this difficult decision, also could consider in-home non-medical care to help your father with some very needed respite and seems some care for him too.
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This will be very difficult I would be afraid the trip would be fatal.....what a difficult situation!
If she is already in hospice, I would try to delay the move and just move dad when she passes
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Google Angel Flights - they do flights at no cost for compassionate reasons. Pilots donate their time and their planes. If that doesn't work, then the RV idea is the best one.
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Ask your current hospice to help with this they may be able to arrange some kind of medical air transportation. They may even know a private pilot who would do it. Also contact the hospice they will join at your home.
Do they actually want to make the move? California is their home they may be reluctant to leave and move in with family. Would it be better for Mom to go into a N/H then dad could stay home but be close by and not be a caregiver 24/7. Can a family member go down and help until Mom dies. After that Dad may be more open to living with family
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I was thinking a van with two mattresses, but an RV would be even better. If they can lie down the entire trip, it doesn't matter so much how long the trip is. Can you have 2 or 3 drivers so you can keep going around the clock?

Your experience is a good argument for forcing a move while the loved ones are still a little bit mobile.
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This questions been asked before and someone said that they rented an RV....
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God, this is a hard one... it seems like the shortest route is the best route... Can you afford to have your parents fly first class? There's more room, and they can recline and lie down flat, and hopefully sleep the entire trip....maybe if you discussed the situation with a doctor, they could prescribe meds to help keep them calm for the flight. I would wait until the last minute to get to the airport, to reduce the time they'd have to sit in wheelchairs being uncomfortable...I'd speak to the airport, see if they can accommodate your parents because of their condition, see if it's possible to get them on the plane, comfortable and settled, before anyone else boards, because of their condition... I'd have at least two people with you to help through the whole thing... It's all I can think of to do... Hopefully, others will have more ideas...it's a tough one...
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