Gigi124 Asked March 2022
I know that my mother's trustee has committed financial elder abuse, but elder services is dismissing it. WHAT CAN I DO?
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I agree with others that you need to contact the admins and ask that your posting of a practicing attorney's name --given your hometown is already posted, with accusations,-- be removed. This action of yours shows that you are not terribly well versed in the law. And it places you in danger of a lawsuit by said attorney.
You have written a "Forum" of caregivers here. People giving care, people getting care. You however have already been in contact with APS, with attorneys I must assume, and have been in court. SO...................
Exactly what you then expect from a Forum of regular folks going about their normal day to day lives?
Once upon a time there was a woman, a Nun, slated for certain Sainthood , living in Medieval Avignon, once a seat of the Pope. She was dying. Almost dead really. ALMOST. But before she was quite ALL THE WAY DEAD some of those around her began to collect holy "relics" from her body a bit early. You know. A bit of blood here, a little flesh there, to place in a reliquary and pray to later for miracles. I think of her when I think of your poor Mom, at 95, being pulled apart by her own children and their attorneys. Money can be a curse; certainly seems it is in this case. I hope she leaves it ALL to a cat shelter.
Glad you posted all the updates for us. It makes me certain that my bloodhounds were always on the right trail here.
Maybe the mother will split the money between the cat shelter and her hired caregivers. I've seen that happen.
Back when I worked for care agencies there was a co-worker of mine, a friend really who took on a case. It was for an elderly man who was very wealthy. He was totally with it mentally but was elderly and he had health problems. She ended up quitting her job with the agency to become his private caregiver. My friend, her daughter, and her mother moved into this guy's mansion. And let me tell you this place was an estate.
Everybody was doing just fine and happy. Then one day the Great Gatsby she worked for passed away in his sleep. All of his relations (he never married or had kids because he was gay) came from the four corners of the world when they heard he died. Coming out of the woodwork like so many well-bred, old money roaches. Not one of them ever visited the old timer or called to check up on him. Not even on Christmas or other holidays.
He ended up leaving all of it to my co-worker. Even his overseas property. The will was air-tight too because this guy named every distant relation he had in his will and left them each the sum of one dollar apiece so the will could not be contested.
Maybe Gigi's mother has a good caregiver who's kind to her or a landscaper that's friendly and will take a minute to say hello to an old person.
I read your comments and I will speak plainly and honestly to you.
Your aggressive style in commenting and putting everything in caps indicates to me that you want more money than you may be entitled to.
You have a trust fund already. You claim your brother had absconded with millions of dollars illegally. If there's this much money, your family is wealthy and wealthy people aren't stupid or careless about their money. If your parents were you wouldn't have a trust fund.
You claim your brother and the lawyer have been ripping your parents off for years. They didn't notice? You didn't? There's more going on here than you're letting on.
Get yourself a lawyer and try to explain to them coherently what you think happened with your parents' money, your brother, and this lawyer.
You relinquished POA. That's on you not anyone else. You also claim that the fraud allegations made by you are being investigated. You do know that there are millions of elder fraud abuse cases that need investigating? Yours is not the only one and for sure the police, IRS, and FBI are not going to put every officer and agent they have on it because one rich girl has a tantrum and stamps her feet like a spoiled brat. Grow up.
As Barb wisely suggests, you need to get some help before you go deeper into trouble.
COMING!
There is no need to yell at us, we are trying to understand so we can better help.
I would contact admin to revise your post. You do not need an attorney after you.
Is this a case of family fighting over money? You need your own attorney.
If your brothers sought guardianship of your mother and won, THEIR legal fees would be paid for by your mother, or her trust.
You are slandering a lawyer, Gigi. Not a wise thing to do.
Gigi, you've posted this situation many times. Please get some help.
HER SISTER - THE TAKING CARE OF MY BEAUTIFUL 95 YEAR OLD MOTHER! EVEN AFTER I FAXED HIM THIS CONCERNING TEXT - HE INSISTED AND SAID “ IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT THIS CAREGIVER CONTINUE TO CARE FOR YOUR MOTHER” - WHAT I DID NOT SHARE HERE WAS THAT I FIRED ATTORNEY DUGAN AS THE TRUSTEE OF MY TRUST -HE IS NOT TO FOND OF ME AFTER I DISMISSED HIM FOR REASONS TO LONG TO GET INTO HERE- THERE ARE TWO SIDES TO THIS UPSETTING AND UNSAFE STORY- ASK YOURSELF “ WOULD I WANT MY MOTHER TO CONTINUE WITH A TRUSTEE THAT IS COMMITTING ELDER ABUSE( PUTTING MOTHERS SAFETY IN DANGER) AND ALSO FINANCIAL ELDER ABUSE WHICH IS SADLY TO COMMON AND IN MANY CASES INVOLVE A GREEDY FAMILY MEMBER AND COUNSEL-
Keep us updated!
There are many on this site that write paragraphs of detail about what OP's should and should not do, often without a recommendation to consult with an attorney or medical pro or CPA or other professional.
That recommendation should always be mentioned first, if it isn't and hidden at the bottom of four, five or six or more paragraphs of information that may or may not apply, it will often not be read. I am one of those that most times I will not read a multiple paragraph post, just too hard to follow.
Your profile is what influenced me to be this frank:
"I’m dealing with caring for my 94 old mother 24 hour caregiver is in an out and the only biological child and my brother adopted brother stole millions from my parents- fraud etc Which is causing a lot of stress in the house and now that my mom has vascular dementiaNot want to keep bringing up wipe my brother has done how do I keep the stress level anxiety to a bare minimum thank you".
More specifically, I don't understand what "in an out and the only biological child" or "Not want to keep bringing up wipe my brother has done...". Could you explain? "Bringing up" to whom?
Tell us what they did and what they said to you.
Tell us how you know that elder financial abuse is happening.
Tell us WHO is doing the abuse, family or friend.
Tell us if that friend is the POA for the Mother.
Tell us if the abuser is Trustee of the Trust and how and when and why that happened.
If you want help you will have to inform us of what is actually happening.
my adopted brother are guilty of
Financial Elder Abuse- You see my mom and dad fired my brother as moms trustee and my trustee after they found out that Gerald my brother had been “SCREWING YOUR PARENTS FOR DECADES “- This is a quote verbatim from an email sent to me from the attorney I relinquished my POA of my mother too- this was years ago and my former attorney coerced me to do so after my brother hired a PRIVATE
INVESTIGATOR to “ Spy” on myself and mom( talking to former caregivers that were dismissed by me- mommy has 24/7 Private duty
Caregivers- I have my brother on a audio tape admitting “ Yes John Dugan did pay for both my lawyers and PI but that was a long time ago.”-No matter how long ago it is still a breach of fiduciary duty,
misappropriation of funds- and
Financial Elder Abuse .
Elder Services has recently began investigating the POA - She
has stopped with no explanation providing a monthly stipend - petty cash for my moms needs - And has refused even after many requests to
provide us with an accounting as to
wear mothers personal checking account is going- But we see that many large checks have been and continue to be written to this POA
Attorneys Law Firm- She won’t return phone calls, emails etc-
And if advice from those with legal experience isn't "reliable", would your advice be any more reliable? Have you ever worked in law firms with either elder law or criminal practices? If so, in what capacity?
In addition, a large firm with elder law or criminal practice areas could address the OP's concern. That's one of the advantages of large firms; practice areas can overlap and two attorneys can work together to provide what a client needs, in this case, advice on what constitutes elder fraud, proofs necessary (including applicable case law, and more).
If Adult Protective Services will not pursue, mom probably told them she is aware and approved of the expenditures. In that case there is nothing they can do.