Running out of patience & $. Mom 94 indep living 2 yr ago was $ 1400 mo now $ 1,950. Unable to sell house Will run out of $ 6-8 mos. Ideas?

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My MIL is blind so your comment is especially funny....WHy the price increase, well because they can. She's in independent living and for $ 1,400 was a very good deal. Place includes 1 meal per day, 3 X weekly shopping transportation and all non EMS health care transportation included, maid weekly, arts & crafts. All utilities & cable included in monthly rent. Place is in a non-profit trust and costs finally caught up IMO. It was 15 - 25% price increase X the board for all 5 sectors (indep/assisted/nursing home/hospice & rehab). 5 of the younger ladies (70 year olds) moved to other facilities because of the price increase.

I prefer that she stays there as they run the full range of care from indep. to death - so she doesn't have to go thru another new place.

She has requested no admittance unless she is there - the maid comes to her first so that she will be there. It's all just so real for her. I've found things hidden all over, which she says she didn't do. The best spot so far was hiding her jewelry in the battery compartment of all 4 flashlights. The best false reality so far is "they are using her apt for meetings" - her apt is as far from the stairs or elevator or
the community room as possible, so yep that's where I'd for sure have a meeting. Just thinking about this makes me
want to have a nice adult beverage.

Funny thing is that ask her about current events, she's right on top of all out there, does a daily crossword, reads and remembers articles in People. You hit it right - craziness!
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I'm wondering why the place she is living in, jumped so much for her care. Is it because she is needing more help then when she first got there? As far as the things she is saying are missing, moved whatever, this seems to be the norm for my mother-in-law at her asst. living place too. I have had them stop coming in to her apt when she's not there though. It was unnerving her to come back from walking, to find someone in her apt cleaning etc. She is still thinking they are stealing her blind (she IS legally blind) but they are NOT stealing. She hides stuff, and then can't remember where she hid it. So it's like a treasure hunt every time I go see her. So tell them at your mother's place that you only want them to come in to her apartment when she is present. That is the first thing I would try. Then I would want an accounting of why the jump in price. Good luck with the craziness...
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Hey igloo,

Auction that sucker off. Contact a reputable auction company and get them to come over and cover some of the basics. The standard commission is 10%. A Realtor charges 6% and it's well worth the difference to move on in this market.

the auction company takes care of the advertising, etc and they will put the property in front of thousands of people and the ones who show up on auction day are serious.

You can set a minimum bid which they will advertise so there is no, omg, I just sold mom's house for a dollar and a half! Bidders will do their due diligence and you can move on. Don't worry about the structural issues because the bidders know their business and will be able to purchase the property and bring the property to code.

Make sure your mom is no where near the property and get it done without a lot of drama. Tell the auction people that she has dementia and make sure you can sign the paperwork so there's no last minute bs with mom freaking out and not signing.

In the words of a doctor I griped to about my mom: Whaddya want? She's demented.

In this market, it's very difficult for Realtors, Brokers, Financial Specialists, etc to wrap their brains around the reality of what's going on out there. They were all raised on Bull and Boom markets and really don't know how to deal with present day. Kudos to your former Realtor who was able to move this house previously. Of course, anything will sell in whatever market if the price is low enough.

As far as your new Realtor is concerned, Auction houses work with Realtors all the time and no, you wouldn't have to pay a 16% commission. they'll work it out so it's ok for you.

good luck and let us know whassup!

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from what i have heard medicaid is the way to go- check into that
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Thanks for your posting. It seems however a reverse mortgage is not an option as the property has structural issues. It is not able to be listed for FHA mortgage applicants because of this. This also is - to my best understanding -an issue for HUD underwritten RM.

When we went to discuss a RM possibility, we basically were
told that older houses (property is in a historical zone & is 100++ yrs old) rarely pass the criteritia for appraisal and inspection needed as part of the RM process. Seems RM works best for houses built within the recent past as they "fit" the requirements (codes, etc.) better.
Perhaps you can shed some light on this?
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Hi Igloo572---Yes I know what you mean--some of these places can wipe you out completely. Does the place yor mom is at--take medicare or medicade----or is this private pay only?

Your local senior service agencies, I would think can advise there may be certain formula's they may have to work out-to place your mom in something that is nice as well as affordable . A social worker-at such type agency would most likely sit down with you and go over this matter....If you belong to AARP, this may be another resource as well.

Good luck!

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Igloo 572 background: Tried to move mom to a retirement community 12 yrs ago - agreed to move and the day before would not move (spent a week packing). Finally 2 years ago forced her to move to indep living - safety issues with gas left on, unable to open/close doors, driving menace, falls, not eating properly, anxiety on thefts. There was always an excuse as to why, like stove dials got stuck, food didn't look right so I didn't eat it, accelerator went loco, door came open on its own, etc. But to outsiders she seemed totally in control & capable....neat, clean, did church activities regularly.

She is in a continuing care " tiered" from indep. to hospice.
Looked at lots and wanted one that did this so that she would not have to ever move again. It's a good facility and they have lots of activities and regular shopping & health checks. She hates it and complains to anyone who calls her.

While clearing/cleaning house to prepare for market found
that she had racked up 30K in debt (all cc & some of this is on cc under her deceased for 15 years husband's name), house needed significant repairs, taxes not paid, let prepaid funeral policy lapse, loaned 10K to worthless nephew.

Taxes up to date & essential repairs are now done but have reduce her savings significantly. Her monthly SS & annuity is
1,800 so every month savings gets depleated to pay for
independent living and monthly costs for house & cc. I figure maybe 8 mos. before she runs out of funds.

House on the market for 100K (neighboring ones are 125-150K) - because of structural issues a reverse mortgage is out; not suitable for FHA mortgage - so cash only sale.
She was offered & accepted 90K BUT the day of the sale
she refused to sign any paperwork!!! I have DPOA but the title company wanted her to sign it and then this happened. Realtor(s) were furious. Now it's back on the market (new realtor) for about a year but nothing and the market is even more gluted with foreclosures and short-sales.

Also she is finally starting to exhibit dementia - people are
stealing; using her apt for meetings when she goes for
lunch; wearing her clothes and putting them back in different closets or drawers - it's all very real for her. She does well
on the knowing daily things and current events and her
gerontologist says she's fine for independent so far.
But it won't stay this way.

We live in a whole other time zone and moving in with us
is not an option. I'm an only child too. Any ideas! Thanks.
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