
I know many of you give care in your home and some of us have parents in facilities.
Before my parent's moved into AL near me I did the holidays with them. As they aged we had to drive to pick them up and bring them to us.
the last four years every holiday including Birthdays has been our responsibility.
i have a sister who does pitch in when I need her but no holidays. I am thankful for her. the other sister who is retired never shows up. She comes every few months and pays a two hour visit
i would really love a Mothers Day to myself but no one is going to give up their special day.
i do Brunch so I can salvage part of the day for me. I have six grandkids in the area and love to spend time with them but of course I have to work my schedule around doing brunch.
is it wrong to be pissed at the one sister who has a grown daughter, is retired and has never given up one holiday to let me have one all to my self?
just venting. I am tired and exhausted. Dad has passed but this is hard because Mom is bed ridden so I am spending lots of time with her over the last few years.
The truth is not everyone has a nice warm fuzzy family, not everyone wants to spend time with people that they see but a few times a year. And not everyone always wants to be the organizer, host and referee.
I see that you are already going to do a brunch.
Make it as easy on yourself as possible.
And make comments during the brunch that next year you will have other plans and you will not be the one doing the brunch. And if you typically do another gathering during the summer if you really do not want to do that tell them now.
Happy Mothers Day
I took my mom out on Saturday when the restaurants weren't busy and I was able to enjoy my Mother's Day on Mother's Day without running around between two households. It worked out well and I always suggest it to people who struggle with this dilemma.
My father and I spent three long, tiring, painful years caring for my sweet mom together at home. We lost her in February. What I would not give to have her here for another day and another Mother’s Day.
just remember that there will come a day when she won’t be with you and that will be much more difficult than anything you are struggling with now.
charish every moment you have left with her and I wish you and your family all the best.
I completely understand feeling burned out. God bless you.
I also have two siblings...one who visits twice a year to provide me respite, and another who is not involved at all. I send them sweet photos to keep them involved.
My sibs live out of state, so they aren't available to help on a daily basis, even if I asked. If you haven't dared to ask your sibs for help, I strongly suggest you do that.
I love that you do brunch because it sounds like it's something you look forward to. Again, if you can muster the strength, try asking your sibs to "take a shift" with THEIR Mom on Mother's Day.
My prayer for you is that you will get a whole day of restoration. ~ VV
I do have to say, I agree that making one day about Mothers puts a lot of pressure on everyone. I also imagine it is painful for those who have lost Mothers.
I appreciate you all
I remember how much work it was to coordinate getting my father to my home for a holiday I was hosting. If I was lucky someone would drive him to my home but I had to get him back to assisted living. Pretty rough after hosting all day. I decided on the last Christmas he was alive that it was getting to be too much for me to do all this running around and I wasn't sure I'd continue to have him over on the next holiday. His needs were just too much.
Don't expect others to offer if you don't convey what you want or need.
Not accusing, but I didn't get the impression you've asked and been turned down or just never asked.
My own mother has passed. We live far away from MIL. Thank goodness!
others as having family.
Your Mother, you are a Mother, your daughters or DIL's now Mothers too?
I think spread the love out.
Like with birthdays where you can have 'your day' on your actualy day, or on another day if it is more convenient.
Arrange what special time or meal you see your Mom, what special time/meal you see your children, also what time they carve out for their own immediate family. Doesn't have to all be squeezed into one day does it?
Personally, in past years I also have thought what about my own Mother's Day? But this year I plan to have a dinner out on a Thursday or something different instead. Not going to be told when to celebrate by some card manufacturing company.
Also, see if your sisters will divvy up the holidays so the burden doesn't fall on you. Some people won't offer to help, either because they're dense or just trying to skate by, but will if they're told that there needs to be more buy-in.
If they can't do the holidays, then there's no rule that says it has to be you for every single one-pick the ones you want to do with your mom and do something for yourself on the other ones.
What do you need to do to make all or part of your Mother’s Day YOURS? You’ll have to think of some tweaks to what you’ve done in the past, but if you NEED a holiday you have the absolute right to have it.
Simplify or cancel brunch, do two short visits to the AL instead of one longer one, plan a picnic or barbecue, and I bet you can think of some others that will allow you to find time that for you and those grands.
And really, Mother’s Day should be any day you can spend with your grands, so could another day, maybe the Sunday after, become “grandmaofeight’s SUPER SPECIAL DAY? Or anything that could be fun for you AND THEM?
YOU DESERVE THIS. Vent all you want, then make a plan!