Almost three years ago, my father passed away; three months later, my partner of 18 years passed away as well. My partner and I used to go over and see my parents every weekend for well over a decade, despite the fact that we lived 80 miles away; I have continued to see my mom every weekend ever since, but it wasn't long before depression kept her from leaving the house, so I began to take responsibility for getting her groceries, doing her laundry, checking her mail and mailing out her bill payments. I have spent over $10,000 to date. I've asked her to put me on her checking account so I can pay for her groceries directly from her account, as well as pay her bills (which has become increasingly difficult for her), but she has repeatedly refused my requests. I suffer from severe depression, and though I am on medications for it, I routinely claw at or beat myself in the face (often until I get a black eye or swell an eye shut), have sobbing jags which can last hours, and I frequently consider suicide. I am unemployed, and I may have to sell my house soon so I have enough money to keep taking care of my mom. I have three other siblings who've been conferring with me on mom's care--they consider themselves the "reliable ones" (I have 4 brothers and 4 sisters, most are out of state), but only one of them has truly helped out, and unfortunately she's been dealt a terrible blow which will greatly limit her ability to help. My brother, who lives in LA (I live in Arkansas) has adopted the "fake wallet pull" method of assistance ("Don't worry, I'm gonna get this! Hey--put that money away! I mean, I totally don't mind getting this! You don't have to--awww! Thanks! I totally would have gotten that!"), but he's really bossy and condescending considering all he's done is talk a lot on the phone about what he's prepared to do. My other sister uses the "I'm just soooooo busy! Work is SUCH a b*&ch!" excuse for never helping out. When they're comparing notes via the "text-tree" we're on, they tend to ignore my actual observations of mom's condition and reports on her mindset and suggest they can get her to do things I've failed to get her to do time and time again (grant POA, add us to her checking account, etc...). They have accused me of being confused and mis-seeing things (including when mom got a shut-off notice from the electric company--I had to photograph it at a later date to prove it really existed, yet they keep talking about it as if it were a manufactured crisis). They believe they are the only ones capable of getting anything done, but they mostly just talk about what "we" need to do. Well, tonight I snapped at my brother after I told him about asking mom to put me on the checking account so I can stop spending my own money on her groceries, and his response to the group was that "we don't need to ask to be put on her accounts". I told him I was the one who'd been doing all the work, and to quit using the word "we". I suggested that if they thought they knew what was best, maybe they could step up and do what I'd been doing. He shared my message with my sisters and began to dress me down in a series of increasingly lengthy, hostile texts, until he eventually told me he was going to strip my contact info from his phone and unfriend and block me on social media. A long time ago, my father came to our house out in the country and spent the day with me--we had lunch, he went fishing at our pond, and we talked for hours. As he went to leave, he began to work himself up, and rounded on me with anger and hostility and said "I don't care WHAT you've got planned for the rest of your life--that's all OVER! YOU--YOU'RE gonna have to be the one to take care of momma! The others CAN'T--they're too busy! It's gonna have to be YOU! GOT IT?" Then he stormed off and drove away. I told my brother this years ago, and he told me what our dad said to me was BS, that no one got to tell me what to do with my life. Well, tonight he told me I couldn't tell them I was taking a break and letting them help for a change--he said I was using her care as a weapon to get back at him. He was telling me it always has to be my responsibility. They're all married and working professionals. They're smart and they and their spouses make good money. I'm nearly at the end of the money my partner left me when he passed away--he was in deep debt and his estate had to be split between me, his daughter, and his nephew. It wasn't a fortune. Mom's broke (aside from her monthly SS check) and in debt to several home shopping channels, and her house is in a crime ridden neighborhood and in bad disrepair. I'm scared and now I'm totally alone. They get to feel like I don't deserve their help now, justified in their continued refusal to acknowledge that I'm in way over my head. Tonight I've seriously contemplated suicide, but I know I have to be there for mom since no one else will be. What do I do?