What do you do when your mother's caregiver has stolen money from her?

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My mother is 67 years old and currently battling cancer. Her caregiver used her debit card and made 3 withdrawals from 3 different banks within a few miles of each other, all totaling in the amount of $1200.00. She has admitted to this and begged us for mercy. She swears she will pay us back. She works for a home health agency. My mother wants to give her a chance and wait to see if she will pay us back. I on the other hand am having a hard time keeping quiet about this and want to report this to the agency. And of course file a police report. Feedback, opinions, advice greatly appreciated.

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NO, it is not ok by anybody's standards. In fact, your sister being DD makes it all the worse; that is why she needs a payee in the first place. Call APS asap.
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I have the same problems but its by7 a representative payee appointed by social security. She has misuse my sisters funds and I reported it but to me I am the bad guy cause I caught it. Social Security doesn't do anything except allow this to happen why is all I want to know why can't they find her in the wrong well to me its because my sister is DD and its ok in their yetes to steal the funds.
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First, my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your mom. May God's blessings continue to keep you strong in your faith as well as your resolve.

I, like you, had some misgivings and concerns about this person coming back at me for retribution. I brought this to the attention of the police and was advised to have an order of loitering (I believe this is what they called it) placed against her. Since she does not live in the area of my home, she should have no business being in the vicinity. She was given and had to sign an order stating that she would not harrass or bother us in any way. I have to admit, the authorities in my area were very helpful and were just as outraged that this person did what she had done. As a result, I believe that during their interviewing and investigation they really put the fear of God into her. It's been 4 months and I have put the incident behind me. I strongly recommend any person contemplating having a caregiver come into your home to please do some background checks on your own as well as that of the agency. The agency that I employed had a flawless record and they repeatedly asked that I not go to the authorities or to put something negative on their website. I did not follow their requests. In fact, shortly after this incident occurred, I stopped using them altogether. You have much on your plate and so for now perhaps you might need to put this on the back burner. Please do not dismiss it entirely. You might just have uncovered a problem that this woman had and who knows how many other unsuspecting elders could have been hurt by what she did. Sending you blessings...
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lw: you are doing the right thing, not only for your family but for others. You are protecting some one else's parent. Who knows, maybe you are indirectly helping this aide by giving her a wake up call. Regardless, her financial woes are not your problem.
I am a person of faith too. It is in keeping with our faith to feel empathetic for a person's misfortunes without allowing their illegal and immoral behaviors.
If you feel any repercussions from this women or threatened in anyway...report this as well. I have a feeling that she has moved on....these people are always looking for the next victim.
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Iwoodward, you should not have to be in fear of this person, it is just plain wrong. That is why I urge you to file a police report asap, it will establish a record of wrong doing on her part. you are in my prayers.
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Thank you so much for all of your comments. This has really helped me to be strong about my decision. To update you all, I did a lot of research today while at the bedside of my mother....who by the way was readmitted last night after her PET scan came back with bad results. I had just found all this out about the caregiver right after getting the bad news at the doctor office. So I have been at the hospital all day today with my mom having all her tests and in between them calling the bank, the agency and Adult Protective Services. I learned a lot today on this website, with your comments and searching the web for what to do. The more I read, the more angry I became. The more I sat and watched my mother's fragile body lay here the more I knew I had to make the calls. So I did call the agency and report her. I was informed already she will be losing her job. I know this woman will never be able to find a job with an agency again. I did report her to the elderly abuse hotline also who has opened a case with us. I have not made the call to the authorities, meaning law enforcement yet. I guess you can say that I still have pity for her....why I don't know. However, the bank has already told me that I have to fill out an affidavit where police information/report is needed. So ultimately I will be making that call this evening or tomorrow. I have been emotionally stressed with this. All of what you all have said is so true about trust and betrayal and victimizing my mother. Of course now I have to say I fear my safety. People can be very crazy. And now that I've cost this woman her job I do fear for myself. That is what held me back all day dwelling with this. Although I knew that morally I should take action and that it was wrong on so many levels, I also couldn't help but think that people are just crazy sometimes. My action was going to cost her a lot. But my mother's RN today summed it up best when she said that this woman cost my mother and me a whole lot more and her actions caused all this. I am a person of faith however and I know enough about God to get me through my days and tough times. And I know He protects His people. I also know that mercy and forgiving are one thing but morals and ethics matter too. So I have made it though my day, I made the call and justice has been served. At least I know that other elderly people out there who live alone or maybe don't have an advocate, will not be hurt by her. Another lesson learned for me. Thank you for sharing your comments. Oh and please pray for me!
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I, too, hired a well known, very reputable caregiving agency. Unfortunately, this past spring, it was discovered that the caregiver who had been in our home (my father has lived with myself and my husband for 3 years now) had stolen money from his room. It was not a large amount $300. I keep very accurate records and know exactly the amount of money that is in the house at all times. When the money was discovered missing, I immediately called the agency. The owner of the agency phoned me back and told me that this had happened with this caregiver once before but there was not proof to do anything. At first I was extremely upset at the agency for not telling me about the caregiver's prior history, but I decided that I wasn't going to let it go. The amount of money was of no significant value. My father is 87 years old. He has dementia and cannot be left alone while we are at work. I was outraged that this person that I trusted in my home took advantage of my father and my husband and I. I immediately phoned the police and filed a report. I also had the agency reimburse me the missing money. I did not have proof, however, with my documentation it was highly doubtful that anyone other than "this" specific caregiver could have been the culprit. In talking with the police, I said that I would drop all criminal charges only if she "the caregiver" put in writing that she committed this crime. In addition, I had her name added to the list of offenders of elder abuse, so that when future employers do a background check, she is found to have been involved in an incident. While it does not always give specific information, it should raise concerns with a future agency. It was not my intent to have this woman be imprisoned, and I am a most reasonable and compassionate person. Unfortunately, the number of elders in our country has increased considerably in the past decade and will continue to do so. Paid caregivers and agencies allow family members the ability to earn a living while still caring for their aging parent. If this caregiver had told me she needed money or she was in financial trouble, believe me I would have helped her in a minute - but to steal from my father - that was the limit for me.

Caregivers are trusted in your home with the things that you value most. Your loved one, your home, your property, your pets - everything. To misuse this trust is a shame, and what's more important - a crime! Please do not allow your mom to be taken advantage of. My father was upset with me because after I found out about the missing money, I had her suspended from her position until the final disposition of the theft. Our parents are very vulnerable and trusting. Isn't it enough that their bodies begin to fail them - or their minds... They place their trust in us to help them make good decisions. Please don't fail her too... While I'm sure this person is very sorry for what they "got caught" at doing, restitution is only one form of her giving back. What she did was a crime. Just because you know the offender doesn't make the crime just as awful. In fact, in my opinion it makes it worse. Call the police and definately report this to whatever agency she came from. They usually have to have them bonded and they may be able to help your mom recover some of her money. Good luck and blessing to you.
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I would not wait to file a police report and have her arrested. Anyone who would steal like that should be in jail, no excuses. When she told you she would pay it back did she put that promise in writing? of course not. People who commit such crimes in the first place have no regard for your well being or feelings and have no business in caregiving. Your Mother sounds like an angel and this person has already struck a blow at her. Your Mother is sick and shouldn't have to deal with this person, and ESPECIALLY have her money stolen at a time when she needs it most. If your Mother can't do it then get her permission for you to handle it. If it were my Mother I would have already made a citizens arrest and her butt would be in jail where it belongs. It's not the time to worry about what will happen to this person.. she will only reap what she has brought on herself. Don't allow her to victimize your Mother. Such an ordeal for her to bring into your lives right now.
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I agree. Report it to the agency. File a police report and call your Mom's bank (btw, how did she get your Mom's password?). And DO NOT let her in your Mom's home ever again. You may want to switch agencies too. I would worry less about the money than this person being in my Mother's orbit. Also, in the future, find a locking cabinet and put all her valuables in there. Do not leave money, valuables, or important papers within anyone's reach.
So sad that you have to deal with this too!
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REPORT IT TO THE AGENCY, NOW!!!!

Before, I started taking care of my own mother, I worked for years in home health thru an agency. I had to have background checks, clearances the whole nine yards. To prove I was an honest person. I would report this A.S.A.P. to the agency and tell them you are going to contact police. If she has done this with your mother how do you know she hasn't got away with it before with another patient? Right is right and wrong is wrong. The agency needs to know. Things like this is what gives home health agencies bad names. Its not the agencies fault if this thief passed all there checks and is now stealing. But if they know then maybe they can change some flaws on their end. If I worked for this agency and found this out, I would report it with or without your consent, honestly. I would not allow one bad apple in the bunch tear down my reputation as an honest caregiver.
She might say she will pay it back, but what if she up and quits? then what? Cause the longer you wait to report it the question will be asked why did you wait so long??? Follow your gut and report it. Remember the agency works for you!!!!
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