Has anyone had mothers being pursued by hearse chasers? - AgingCare.com

Has anyone had mothers being pursued by hearse chasers?


By hearse chasers, I mean neighbours and so-called "friends" who like to surveil or hang around elderly people so they can benefit from any sudden illness in a material way. The neighbours on both sides of my mother's house want to buy her house. at a reduced price of course. One of them this week had the unparalleled impudence to turn up on her doorstep and ask if he could come in and look around the house! I asked my mother whether she would go to his house and ask to look around his house. She let him in and he wanted to buy the house at a very low price when it became free. He appears to be quite impatient that she hasn't snuffed it already. He told her to call him if she got sick and needed any help! Sort of like the wolf telling Red Riding Hood to call him for help.

These neighbours were watching the ambulance that arrived one day to take my mother to hospital. Sorry, fellows, she didn't die. I gather they are competing with each other to buy my mom's house. I find this creepy and wonder if there is any way to discourage this sort of behaviour. Frankly I wonder if the police shouldn't be notified. It borders on harassment and certainly shows no respect.

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Good. I had a similar situation with vultures flocking around my father. He lived in Maine, an eight-hour drive from me. I had to go up there and make my presence known to get them to back off. One of them was a bank official who had a reputation of cozying up to lonely seniors, bringing the booze and baked goods, and then getting them to make him the main beneficiary in their wills. I threatened to report him if I ever heard of him doing it again.

BTW, a guy I used to work with was known for befriending seniors who were living alone in order to gain their trust and buy their houses cheap. He was shameless and used to boast about it.
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I had thought of speaking to the neighbours before doing anything else, ie start with the least confrontational and build up in fire power if necessary. I don't live in my mom's town which is very isolated and northern but will be visiting soon.
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A visit to the neighbors is an excellent idea. Take a friend along for moral support and to act as a witness in case things get out of hand. Tell the neighbors that your mother was very upset after their visit and they need to stop bothering her about the house. It's best to start off by being non-confrontational, but if they get belligerent and insist they were just being "neighborly," tell them they're harassing an old woman and it has to stop or you'll report them to the police.

You may want to mention that your cousin is going to buy the house when your mother passes away, so it won't be available to them anyway. The cousin is fictional, but the neighbors don't know that. Spin a story about mom wanting to keep the house in the family, and how good old Cousin Paul from Boise is looking forward to moving in someday.
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Movingup, have you considered confronting these neighbours? Not in a belligerent way, just to call them out on their bad-mannered and rather disgusting behaviour. They should be ashamed of themselves, and if you clarify how your mother perceives their enquiries they probably will be. Then they'll stop.

Unless they've got some issue going on about who occupies the house in between them, have they? In which case you'd better try to get to the bottom of it before it gets out of hand.
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I initially thought you meant funeral parlors which have booths at aging expos, offer free mints in cheap little tins with their name on them, have a sign-up list, then harrass seniors later on to come in, give them their personal information to keep on file (for what??). I was so angry with one that I told them off after calling my father and asking him to provide them with names of kin, heirs, etc.

For whatever reason, apparently the two characters who are neighbors are after your mom's house, which I find unsettling.

I think I would have a peephole installed in her door, deadbolts on them (if they're not already there), and caution her not to open it when either of these two come back. Hopefully she won't!

And letting the police know as well wouldn't hurt. If there's some way you can have your mother document their visits, that would help to show a pattern of harrassment.

Perhaps the police would agree to make a visit and advise them to leave your mother alone.

Another option is to have an attorney write a strong "cease and desist" letter to each. It might cost a few hundred dollars, but it might scare them enough to stop the salivation over her house.

Do you live close to your mother so that you can reaffirm her safety by checking on her? Are there other neighbors that might look out for her and let you know if the two would be purchasers harrass her?

If it upsets her, you could try to get a PPO against them.
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It's creepy and it is downright rude. You might want to call ADT and get a security system installed. You should also notify the police about her health conditions and make sure they have YOUR contact information and not the neighbors'.
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