My father lives with her, he is 92. They live in their own home. He can't get her to go back to bed. He is afraid she is going to go out of the house, so he stays up with her.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
At first it started with my mom calling me at 3am saying "I thought you were coming over today". I'd say "I am - at noon. It's 3:00 in the morning!" Mom would get embarrassed, apologize and hang up. Then it progressed to mom calling in the middle of the night asking "is it 3:00 in the morning or afternoon?" She would be confused but no longer embarrassed or apologetic. Why she couldn't look out a window and see that it was still dark outside completely threw me.

It was at this point - having missed a dozen other red flags that I began to understand that there was something serious going on with my mom beyond typical aging and forgetfulness. Usually I'm a bit quicker than this. But I still didn't really understand what was happening- just showed mom on her digital clock the little lit dot that indicated am or pm - also showed her on her computer the little time stamp that did the same. It didn't help. Mom continued to call in the middle of the night.

Now the conversation was pretty brief. Mom - "what time is it?" Me - "it's 3am, mom". Hang up. Hubby - "FU@K!" Me - "yeah".

To switch things up occasionally I'd get "the bonus call". Which was mom calling around 5am, boarder line hysterical- she would be up and dressed - ready to go to her 11am doctor appointment. She'd be upset that I wasn't there already to take her to her doctor appointment that was three miles away. These calls always transitioned to a rant over not having her car anymore and anything else that was upsetting her at the moment. There was no getting her off the phone so I'd interrupt and say "mom, your appointment isn't for six hours. I'm going back to sleep and I'll see you at 10:00. That's five hours from now so I suggest you try to get some sleep yourself." Hang up. Hubby - "FU@K!"  Me - "yeah".

Eventually, this phase passed - not soon enough.

Get your mother into a neurologist or a geriatric specialist.
Helpful Answer (1)

Quilting, oh dear, so tough when one's inner clock is registering wrong. Have Mom visit her primary doctor to see if there is something he/she can give her to help her sleep through the night. Your Dad must be very exhausted.

I see your parents still live in their own home, my folks did the same thing at the same age, and it scared me silly... I couldn't sleep at night !!  Mom refused to move or have caregivers come in... Dad was more receptive about it, but Mom ruled the roost. They needed help but kept saying "we can manage". I think not.

Usually we need to wait for a medical emergency or two or three before one's parents finally decide they can't do this on their own.
Helpful Answer (1)

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter