Mother with dementia. Is there anything I can do about this?

How can you possibly think that your mom is high functioning? None of this makes sense.

Mom is the the middle of a dysfunctional family that is taking advantage of her. I agree with seeing an elder attorney as soon as possible.

What AlvaDeer is saying is correct. Not to mention, your mother is NOT 'high functioning' at ALL based on the details you are giving here in your statements! She should be deemed incompetent and as such, unable *not allowed* to sign or co-sign ANY documents meaning what your brother has done is illegal! See an Elder Care attorney immediately.

GOOD LUCK!

Hm.

Did these big ticket purchases originate with your mother or with the recipients? I mean, did your mother tell them she wanted to get them a house/a car/the moon; or did they ask her for help directly, or by dropping ever heavier hints?

I'm guessing you're not on such terms with your non-POA brother or your niece that you can ring them up and ask them what they think they're playing at. Are the sums of money involved a big deal to your mother? (apologies, I know that seems like a silly question but there are, after all, people who can buy the odd island here and there without feeling it)

If your mother is, as you put it, high-functioning - able to understand what she's doing with the money - and she wants these actions taken, and your brother is quite satisfied that your other brother and your niece are not doing any arm-twisting, emotional blackmailing or other coercing of your mother; then morally there is nothing wrong. Your brother is complying with your mother's known wishes and he is not enriching himself.

But if your mother comes to need Medicaid within the next five years to support her care, you (you the family, that is) will be in hot water. She will have gifted thousands and thousands, and the penalty will be as much.

Do you have any concerns about your non-POA brother's and your niece's treatment of your mother?

I am a coPOA, functioning independently from one another, and based on the language of our document, either of us could legally do what your brother is doing, but neither of us do.

You’ll need input from a lawyer to determine if your brother’s choices are on the up and up or not. If you have access to the lawyer who drew up the POA, that may be the best place for you to start.

The purchase of the house and the car does what to benefit your mom? Is she going to live in the house by herself? Where is she living now? Is she high functioning enough to responsibly drive a car? Having dementia doesn't automatically or necessarily deprive her of driving, but if she isn't going to drive, why the new car? Have you ridden with her? Driving requires good vision, hearing, reactions, decision making, co-ordination and alertness. Does she have those skills still? These two purchases can't possibly be in your mom's best interest. Even if she is still high functioning, it is time to discuss your mom's dementia with the rest of the family, and to have an honest discussion with her about her capacity to drive, and the need for a new home that she may not be able to live independently in.

Just because she wants a house and car, the POA has to have the maturity, and maybe the courage, to deny some of her requests as a practical matter, regardless if mom gets mad. You might bring up the legal consequences of your brother's misuse of his POA. Calling the agencies Alva suggests can give you some legal guidance.

See an elder law attorney. Your brother is misusing his POA to enrich himself and this is against the law. He is a legal fiduciary sworn to act for your mother and in HER INTEREST only. What he is doing could land him in jail and he should be told this. It is, with dementia, recognized that your Mom can no longer act for herself with competence and your brother is taking advantage of this fact.
These gifts preclude your Mom from receiving any financial care. They need to be reported. Start with an Elder Law Attorney and Adult Protective Services. Call your local center on aging, council on aging, whatever resources you have to give you guidance.

You can file for guardianship. Look up guardianship and your state. It’s expensive, it’s not a sure thing and you may wish you had left it alone. Sometimes If siblings can’t agree the state will give guardianship to a professional guardian.

A POA is supposed to act for the agent (your mom) when they are no longer able to act for themselves or at their direction. It depends on the wording in the document itself as to the powers being granted. Hopefully your brother isn’t making decisions at moms request that will come back to haunt him.

Has your mom been legally declared incompetent? She can change her POA if she understands what she is doing. Is her cancer aggressive? Since she is high functioning, she may know exactly what she is doing.
Hopefully your mom has great wealth and won’t need Medicaid in her future for the next five years. Is brother who is POA likely to be her caregiver as well as her decision maker? Hopefully he has consulted with a certified elder attorney and getting advice to help guide mom in her decisions.
I’m sorry for your distress.