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She is on an anti-depressant, Namenda, and Ativan, plus a few other pills/vitamins. She takes these in the morning. I go over every morning before work but she can be incredibly slow and if I wait around to make sure she takes them, I am late for work, sometimes up to an hour late. And she won't listen or take them for my dad. Once or twice she has even hid them. She questions every pill, what it is what it is for, and argues about the number of pills she takes. She is getting very belligerent about it. At night she takes Namenda and Zyprexa. Once she started refusing to take her evening pills, we started crushing them and mixing in her food. She eats cereal for breakfast, so that's not an option in the morning. I don't know how to handle this. She has been doing better most days since we got her on this regimen, but I'm afraid if she goes off them we will have a real battle on our hands again. Her and my dad still live at home. We take them supper and do the housework and have someone with them a few afternoons and every evening. All family members, and we are all stressed out and exhausted. Dad has declined having someone come in on a regular basis, he knows mom will fight it and blame him. How can I help or do more? We are fresh out of ideas!

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What makes you think an antidepressant, vitamins or any other pill is going to erase the fact she has a terminal illness? She can take her pills or not. It will not matter. Don't sweat the small stuff!
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Sorry I have to disagree with ferris1. I know first hand that medication can have a huge impact on behavior. Not taking something could lead to the person becoming violent or agitated and if she is with her elderly husband, she could even hurt him. Just because they have a mental or terminal illness also doesn't mean you want them to suffer a heart attack, go into a diabetic comma or suffer a stroke. That would make it 10 times harder on the caregivers. Sometimes these pills are necessary to prevent further suffering or the keep the patient stable.
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Get once a day meds. Namenda comes in a once a day formulation. So do antidepressants. Get an extended release like Klonopin instead of Ativan. In the AM, just give her the vitamins and let her take them if she chooses. She wants the ability to choose.
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You can get all drugs in liquid form. I mix them with warmed Ensure with a little sugar. My wife loves her morning 'tea'. All my wife's nine pills cost $350/month copay. The same drugs in liquid form cost $270/month. These are not just pills crushed up. Ask your doctor for prescriptions for liquid drugs and find your local pharmacy that can provide them. They give you a little syringe to measure the dosage. Some of them need to be refrigerated. For me, giving drugs five times a day was a nightmare for me and my wife. Now it's enjoyable. Good luck.
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Do not crush any oral medication that is labeled as:
Delayed Release
Enteric-coated (EC)
Extended release
Effervescent tablet (EVT)
Mucous Membrane irritant (MMI)
Orally Disintegrating tablets (ODT)
Slow-release (SR)
Sublingual forms of drugs
Sustained-release

Do not crush any oral medication that ends in the following letters:
CD CR ER LA SR XL XR XT
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Since my mom was diagnosed with swallowing issues, I have been crushing her pills and putting them in pudding. My mom is an extremely picky eater and now that everything has to be extremely soft and it has to be sweet, of course, pudding seems to be the trick for now. I asked her doctor about liquid forms of her medication. Has anyone ever asked the doctor a question and get the look back like you have 5 heads, LOL , well that's what I got when I asked her doctor the question. I don't find the system to be very helpful in trying to figure alternatives when you have limitations to overcome. Places like this site and others are far more helpful.
My mom fought me on bringing help in, but for some reason if I said I needed the help around the house, etc. she would be ok with it. She is now 81 and in the later stages of dementia and she is still picky about who is around her. Although better, not great and because she can't verbally communicate her feelings she has a tendency to strike out physically. So, then it came down to finding the right person(s) who can deal with that type of behavior. It is possible, but not easy. Good Luck, we are all with you in spirit :)
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Be careful, not all pills shoul be crushed! Check with her pharmacist!
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Can you speak to the pharmacist? Find out when a least busy time is, and pose your question to him/her. They know how different drugs are packaged, alternatives, generics, liquids, if pills can be crushed, dosages, etc. Physicians do not always know these things.

I know for my pharmacist, Mondays, and Fridays are the busy times. Also lunch times. I wish you all the best and hope you find some solutions that work best for you and your loved ones.
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I have had pretty good success with Mom by doing a few things.

1) I have a daily pill dispenser so that none of the pills are in their original containers for Mom to see. Therefore:

2) They are all "Vitamins" to keep you healthy, because I/we want to keep you around as long as we can! C - to ward off colds. D - for your bones and teeth. B - for energy, heart health, joint health, eyesight, … make it up as you go if you have to…

3) I take mine at the same time she takes hers, even though mine are just vitamins. We can all probably use more Vitamin D, or another Tic Tac!

4) Triage. I have Mom take the most important ones first… meaning the actual medication… followed by the vitamins, etc.

Good luck!
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My dad started questioning what the pills were and it became a battle. I ended the battle, he's been taking them for a few years without knowing either in a milkshake or even better in peanut butter in a sandwich. No more battle!
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