My Mother is the surviving widow of a WW II veteran. Is there any VA help for her?

I think you mean Medicaid, rather than Medicare, which doesn't require any documentation for a 5 year look back period. Your mother should have gotten Medicare years ago.

The VA has a website at which questions can be posed, and information provided: iris.custhelp

(Sometimes the links are deleted; if so, then google VA Inquity Routing and Information)

Search online for the nearest VA outpatient hospital near you, call and speak with someone in the Eligibility Department and ask about applying for benefits for your mother.

Or you can check with your county as well as the state to determine if they have veterans' departments that help you apply for benefits. VFW and American Legion will also help, and know how to expedite an application because they're so experienced. And they do it for free.

We went through the county VA Veterans Services department, which prepared the initial application and supporting data for service connected disability qualification, then e-mailed it to the American Legion office locally for processing.

You mentioned various services: home care help, in home therapy, visiting nurses, music therapy, meals on wheels .

Home care help might be provided if your mother qualified for it through the VA; some people though do pay for it out of pocket.

In home therapy can be prescribed by a physician, for a limited time, and paid for by Medicare. Same with visiting nurses.

I don't know of any governmental service that pays for music therapy; we go to local community and library events for our free concerts.

Meals on Wheels costs $3 per meal in our area and is restricted to people who don't have their own transportation. My father gets it, and also gets extra meals for the holiday. In his area, the service is provided through the township senior center; in other areas I believe it might be provided through the Area Agency on Aging. You'll have to do some research for your specific area.

sherry1anne, i agree with you 1000%. I just wish I could get a live in that cheap, but they want $15 an hour so I only get 4 hours a day. I did apply for medicaids waiver for in home help, still waiting. Moms been here 8 years going on 9 years in Feb. She doesnt know me, cannot walk, talk, is incontinent, and I puree her foods and feed her. Regardless, shes here to stay. She knows touch, is safe, warm and loved and most of all, she laughs like hell with me and I dont even think she understands why, but who cares, shes happy.

The VA has an Aid and Assistance for Vets who fought during a War. The Vet can get $1700, the spouse $1200 for their care at home on in a facility if medicaid is not paying for the facility. Like in a AL. Call your county office. Check out that burial thing. You may be able to prepay for her funeral. I'm going to check it out after the first of the year.

Muni, no offense intended, but I think capitalism has more to do with the proliferation of places for elders; money is a strong motivating factor. And one of the benefits of capitalism is that it responds to needs and creates solutions, even if they aren't the best under the circumstances.

I know my father would never consider it a blessing if I put him in a facility; he'd consider it heartbreaking.

This really is a personal decision.

But your points are interesting and reflective of your opinion. I hope your book is successful and helps people with the difficult task of decision making throughout these often long processes of caring for our elders.

I have told myself I will not promise anything. My daughter, RN, has told me there will come a time when I can no longer care for Mom. I'm praying I never have to make that decision to place her in a NH. But, I know my limitations physically and that I won't be able to be there for her eventually.

My wife is home and in hospice care--once a day in the morning they come. That's Medicare paid. I also have Medicare pick up care taker hours for when I work. They attached (money paid out) the house but I can still live here--collected when I sell. That's fine with me because my sweet wife is home. Contact your local county aging agency for help. We have combined income--her Social Security and my net pay of total $45,000 and she qualified. Yes they did go back 5 years of bank numbers. I also got my mortgage lowered with a hardship request. Saved $400 monthly. That's another government program--thank you Mr. President.

The "burial Fund" if in her name will disqualify her for a MEDICAID Nursing home; if things end up going that wayI I suggest a FUNERAL TRUST which is MEDICAID exempt.

With a properly certified VA application, and a caregiver agreement she should meet VA eligibility, and hopefully she has some Social Security/Retirement to help along with the VA amount of up to $1.149. I am in Georigia, have helped hundreds. There are many nuances to the VA application.

I've never heard of Medicare placing a lien against a home. Edward, who told this to you?

Aid and Assistance should be available. this is if she stays in the home or in assisted living rather than a nursing home as I understand it. They should pay her about $1200 per month that you use to pay a caregiver - this is what I do with my mother.

People tell me that I should put my mother in a home. I refuse. She still eats at the table and is able to bathe in the shower with assistance (I get in with her). We are able to get Visiting nurse & physical therapy occasionally at home after there is an accident or hospitalization, but that's not much. I don't think medicare helps in that way. The VA Aid and Assistance of $1200 per month helps me pay for a caregiver to live in.