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Hi--some of you have helped so much over the last year. I know I should be better by now, but your encouragement and advice help me improve more and more, albeit little by little. I dread telling my mother I am leaving town. I have gotten better and she has too, but I still get that awful guilt when I tell her, and still worry about her when I leave--not her physical well-being, but rather her emotional neediness. Her manipulative capabilities are impressive. My psychologist has helped a ton but here comes that time of year again when I visit my kids and grandkids and take short vacations with my husband. We keep it to 3-4 nights max. She lives independently, drives and cooks, and so far has done very well. She has two cell phones and an emergency necklace, and I try to have someone in place to visit or whom she can call if she has an emergency. She says she wants this support but often fights me on this to some extent. It is never quite right. I need a shot in the arm--thanks to all who can advise.

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I love it! I know I have cow-towed to her my whole life, but I am getting better. I hate, hate, hate this anxiety! It seems like it is part and parcel of me. I love all of your advice, and I am even starting to work on not being so immediately accessible by phone. I can't believe it is taking me so long to get rid of this fear of my not being there for her if and when she needs me. She has worried about herself for my whole life, and I was trained very well. Thank you, thank you.
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I agree. Then turn off your cell phone.
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Hi mom, just wanted to let you know I'll be out of touch for xxx days as I'm leaving tomorrow for holidays. I'll call you when I get back. Love you, bye bye!
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She lives on her own, drives, cooks. Hells Bells, spend a month in the Bahamas!
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