Showtiming means they can make plenty of small talk & put on a great show for others, as long as there aren't real questions asked of them. That part of the brain is still fine and they're able to make small talk and even fool some doctors and health care pros into thinking they're fine, when in fact, they're not. My mother has been the queen of showtiming for years now.
As her disease progresses, however, she loses her train of thought to the point where even small talk is becoming difficult.
Your mother feels like she has to put on this act for the callers to show them that she's still her old self, but for you, the mask is off.
I've seen that too. I wondered if the *initiation* process is declining. So on the phone or with visitors the caller/visitor is asking questions & keeping the conversation flowing but without them, the flow stops.
I googled Teepa Snow & her Dementia stages: amber stage mentions stopping & having trouble starting.
That sounds familiar. Some days it is maddening. My siblings rarely even call, yet I have sacrificed to care for her and I'm the one who feels like the "black sheep" of the group. Wish they could experience what I go through.
Funny that you mentioned being a black sheep. I too have been the black sheep of the family yet I'm the only one willing to step up and care for the parents and if I'm such a bad person how am I competent enough to be a caregiver? Lol. We are at the scapegoats but karma rules!
My mom does that when my brother calls her. Everything is hunkydory when she’s having a conversation on the phone, and yet for hours everyday when it is the two of us, there’s no conversation, she’s asleep half the time and that’s it. On the occasion that my youngest brother comes over to spell me for a while, I come back to find that they have been engaged in conversation the whole time. it feels like mom and I have nothing to talk about.
i think it’s the stimulus of someone or something from outside the walls of the apartment. We almost have nothing to talk about. We have nothing going on, except when my grandkids are over. But she can even sleep through them.
Ahhh, that's what goes on with me and my mother-in-law. Hours of silence while she slumps on the couch "waiting to die" or staring into space. Just. Silence. It drains me.
As her disease progresses, however, she loses her train of thought to the point where even small talk is becoming difficult.
Your mother feels like she has to put on this act for the callers to show them that she's still her old self, but for you, the mask is off.
I googled Teepa Snow & her Dementia stages: amber stage mentions stopping & having trouble starting.
it feels like mom and I have nothing to talk about.
i think it’s the stimulus of someone or something from outside the walls of the apartment. We almost have nothing to talk about. We have nothing going on, except when my grandkids are over. But she can even sleep through them.