Give her plausible explanations of why she can't go right now, and try to distract her. "Gramma has something contagious and we have to wait until she gets better to visit her." "She is at a church retreat this week." Anything that would make sense to Mom. Sympathize. "I know you want to see your mother, and I hope you can next week." Do not argue with her. Don't point out that her mother died 15 years ago. She doesn't need reality now ... she needs comfort.
Hmalta, this is the time where "therapeutic fibs" help the situation. As Jeanne had mentioned above, make up some type of excuse.
My own Mother [98] was asking the same thing. She wanted to go "home", and eventually we realized she meant her childhood home. She also wanted to stop by to visit her parents and to see her sisters [all had passed years ago]. I use to say, "maybe we will go tomorrow" and she would accept my answer :)
I know this isn't easy, as we really want to correct what Mom says, but not at this point in her life with her dementia. I had to coach my Dad [also in his 90's] on how to answer, telling him he needs to just play along with whatever Mom said. And he did.
She is now a child. She probably doesn't realize your even her daughters. She is scared and wants her mother, its normal. Like said, tell her you will take her later or another day.
All good answers. I've tried variations of all of your great answers. She thinks we're mean because we won't take her. Very difficult. Thanks to you all. We're any of you parents on medication. My mom is having horrible mood swings. Tried delaproex-- no help. Now on olanzapine--has one good day followed by a very bad day. Back & forth. My sister & I are nervous wrecks. Our goal is to keep her home with us. But she needs to be calm. Psychiatrist not so helpful so far.
My own Mother [98] was asking the same thing. She wanted to go "home", and eventually we realized she meant her childhood home. She also wanted to stop by to visit her parents and to see her sisters [all had passed years ago]. I use to say, "maybe we will go tomorrow" and she would accept my answer :)
I know this isn't easy, as we really want to correct what Mom says, but not at this point in her life with her dementia. I had to coach my Dad [also in his 90's] on how to answer, telling him he needs to just play along with whatever Mom said. And he did.