Mother wants a new car. What do I do?

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My mother, who is 86 years old, recently had an accident and totaled her car. She was taken to the hospital (bump on the head, bunged up knee and 2 cracked ribs)and stayed 2 nights and then was moved to a nursing home, which she checked herself out of after a week because she had to pay for her stay. (Yes, I know about the Medicare rule...) She's now back at her apartment, but mad as H E double toothpicks that she has no car. She walked with a cane/walker before the accident, now she is in even worse shape. I know she should not be driving but she's still mentally competent and insists that I take her to look at cars so she can buy one. Her doctor is no help. His comment was, "She's her own person and can do as she wishes." I'm her power of attorney for both health and everything else. I'm at my wits end!

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Almost an identical story to ours with MIL except her accident took place at the hospital so they just brought her right in to ER. Her son, my husband, told her no and that her insurance was canceled as well. She did not have the means or know how to find and purchase another car. We hired someone who would take her where she needed to go. This person became a "paid friend" to her.
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My mom has not driven in 3 years, no liscence any more. I bought her sweet ride from her, so she could still go for rides in it. Now she mentions getting a new one,, this sucker looks like new, is 6 years old and has about 12000 miles on it.. so as far as I am concerned it's new!! My 3 year old truck has 80000 from trips to Pa to take care of them and sell house... before they moved in. I told her OK, do you want to spend 50000 plus for a new one? Heck no,, that stopped that!
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Windyridge

Home care service person would also charge a fee for the use of their car to take the person where they wanted/needed to go, plus mileage.
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ovetoplay, when was the last time your Mom bought a new car with money from here own purse? If it has been quite some time, she might be in sticker shock and decide a new car is too expensive. Or would she decide that used vehicle would be fine, too.

When my Dad had bought his Olds sedan 15 years ago it was around $19k. In his final year this year, while living in Assisted Living, he wanted to go buy a new car. An Olds. Sorry, Dad, General Motors doesn't make that vehicle anymore. Then he said ok a Pontiac. Nope, sorry, Dad, no more Pontiac, either. Told him he could buy a brand new Jeep Grand Cherokee for $40k. Well, that put the brakes on the decision. He wasn't going to pay that much.... he could get a lot of cab rides for that amount.
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Funny unrelated story. My mother has not been allowed to drive for years - and had expressed no desire either. Well, it was becoming near impossible to get her into the van that she had so we sold it and purchased her a Toyota Sienna van with Mobility access - a seat that makes a 90 degree turn and lowers to the ground and then lifts her up into the van.

We,, she got excited about the new van until she learned that her seat was on the rear passenger side. She cried out "how am I supposed to drive from back here?"
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Ditto. If your state does not allow a family member to initiate the evaluation, contact the officer who wrote the accident report and ask him to do it - you may have to explain what you are talking about, it is a rarely used form. I only filled out three is 26 years of law enforcement and I know that some of my co-workers had never even filled out one.
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Go online to your DMV website and download the form to refer a driver for evaluation. In NY the DMV demands a fitness report from the MD and then schedules a road test. Until she passes the evaluation, insist on no car.
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Most states DMV have a procedure whereby a report can be issued by a doc, cop, or family member requesting an elders driving be reviewed and tested. Some states are better than others at implementing and enforcing this.

Was this accident her fault? Has she had other dings and bumps? If she is still competent you must have some evidence to build a case to stop her driving.

I'm heading down this road with my dad. He shouldn't be driving but there is not one scratch on the car, no wrecks or no getting lost.I tried tricking him into thinking the car was broken down but he's still too savy and I had to give that plan up. Like your mom he would have found a way to get a new car if I had taken his away and there was no way I could have stopped it.

Keep in mind, when elder driving ends the caregiver will have to find a way to provide transportation. Either you drive them everywhere (like 10 doc appointments per month) use public transport or hire a home care service at around $20 per hour.
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Let me add....my Dad had a serious accident at the age of 90.

He wanted another new car. BUT....when he saw the huge cost of insurance (totaled his car...he was at fault)... well, he said that he would just give up having a car if the insurance company was going to be that unreasonable.

A major car accident for an elderly person .... she could find her cannot even get insurance
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Just refuse to provide transportation to get a car.

Since she believes she is competent enough to drive...she is surely competent enough to figure out how to find and buy a car.

If you believe that she should not be driving...don't help her to do it!
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