How do we deal with the frequent waking to assist Mom?

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Mom (95), alert but weak on her feet, urinates 10-12 per night.

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My mother's visiting nurse suggested Valerian tea for sleep.
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Odd this behavior is only at night.
My mother has a chronic UTI and suffers from dementia.
Generally if an infection is the cause of these frequent trips you can tell by the odor of the urine but ....
My mother also used frequent bathroom trips as an excuse to poke around the house at night.She isn't sleepy and likes the feeling that she isn't being watched.
Lately I've noticed that she likes this time alone in the bathroom to have a peaceful "sitdown" and move her bowels without me waiting outside the door.
Obviously I have to be somewhere closeby in case she needs help but now I don't let her know I'm on to her secret.
Certainly your mom needs to see the doc about whether or not she has a UTI or chronis UTI but you might also consider she needs a bit of privacy for bowel movement.
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Is she waking up because she really has to go or is it to reassure herself that you will get up with her if she really needs you? My Mom has an ileostomy and she couldn't help that we had to get up constantly to empty her bag. Then found she could use a urostomy bag which held well through the night. But she would wake me up anyway because she said she needed help. After 7 months of this I was exhausted because I had to do all the running during the day, etc. Plus my Mom slept all throughout the day. When I realized it was more of a want than a need from her, I started acting like I didn't hear her. I know this sounds awful but I have an arterial bulge and get horrific headaches without proper rest. So she started taking Benadryl and started sleeping through the night. My Aunt is with her now, and she is doing my Aunt the same way. I don't know the particulars on your mother's illness and hope I am not offending in any way because that's not my intent. Just a thought.
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Another good night last night. Let's keep our fingers crossed it continued
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I don't know how it works, I just know that it does work.
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Thank you all for your feedback. We went to an orthopedic surgeon three days ago as she was having bad back pain. She had another compression fracture. One of the meds she was put on was low dose to start (100mg) Gabapentin. The last two nights she has slept straight through the night. We changed her to an all night diaper. We're keeping our fingers crossed that it continues. The best thing is she's not hung over like with other sleep meds or pain meds.
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Saw palmetto can be very effective for the sensation of frequent need to empty the bladder in men. (It takes a few weeks to start working.) It was very helpful for my husband, on the advice of his physician.

But for Mom? Really? It works on the prostate gland. Don't see how that could help women any.

I echo the advice not to use OTC herbs or meds without consulting a doctor.
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There can be issues with OTC meds like benedryl but also with prescription meds in elderly. Unless she needs your help every time, you get meds for you! I take melatonin or ambien so I can get my sleep. (My symptoms are worse with less sleep making daytime care giving an issue.) Talk to your dr. I can still get up and help if needed but sleep a bit deeper and don't hear her first thing.

Make the pathway unobstructed. Move furniture if need be. install railings/grab bars as needed. Get rid of rugs in bathroom. Put night lights in bathroom. You can get a bed rail that installs on any regular bed. The one we got actually can pivot to help person stand (almost like a walker). Make sure there is enough light in bedroom so there is not confusion on waking about where person is.

One thing that helped was making sure daytime naps were limited in number and time. No caffeine in drinks makes problem worse.

Check for UTI can be a hidden problem and can increase or cause symptoms of mental confusion in elderly.
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I hate to put a damper on things, but I wouldn't try any OTC drugs or herbs unless I had talked to the doctor. At this age, they may do more harm than good. Please call your doctor if you haven't already.

Also, I see it's been four days, would you please give us an update as to what happened?

Thank you!

I like GEO's opinion, i.e., telling her it's okay to go in her (I hate to say diapers) but that's what they are. Also, please make sure she doesn't have a UTI.
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It looks like it's been answered before. Did these just start? I'm thinking UTI, too. Please get it checked because UTI's are painful. She may not like to 'wet' her depends.

I might add how sad for both of you, she for having her sleep interrupted and having that urge to urinate and you for having to get up with her.
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