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She has progressing dimentia and even her neurologist has told her she cannot live alone anymore. I have power of attorney but she refuses to go and assisted living can't physically restrain her daily to keep her there.

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Does she need 24/7 support? Would various in-home support measures be sufficient to keep her at home, at least for a while longer? For example, if someone helped with her medicines, and someone helped bathe her, and she didn't have to cook, and housekeeping help (laundry, cleaning, etc.) were provided, would that be enough? I know with dementia that may not be enough. At some point judgment is impaired too much to be left alone at all.

If she is beyond staying at home with lots of support, I wonder if assisted living is the right level of care for her. Perhaps she needs a locked memory care unit.

My heart goes out to you in this very difficult situation. I hope the articles karieh points you to help a bit.

PLease let us know how this plays out for you. Many people find themselves in your spot, and we learn from each other.
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Nmbiello,

I am sorry to hear about the problems you are having with you mom trying to move her into assisted living. Many caregivers and their elderly loved ones experience this situation. One or our AgingCare.com editors, Marlo, went to an assisted living facility to see what they do when elders refuse to visit. Check out this article:

Mom Refuses to Get out of the Car on a Visit to Senior Housing
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/mother-refuses-to-visit-senior-living-facility-152149.htm

Also, check out this article it might help too :)

How to Convince Your Parent to Move to Assisted Living
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/how-to-convince-parents-assisted-living-142136.htm

and

How can I get my Parents to Consent to Move to Assisted Living?
https://www.agingcare.com/Answers/how-to-get-elderly-parents-to-consent-to-assisted-living-112081.htm

Good Luck. Let us know how it goes!
-Karie H.
AgingCare.com Team
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