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My 87yr old Mother has vascular dementia, she is bedridden at this point and on Hospice. She has a lot of strange, scary, heart breaking behaviors, typical of people with dementia. I've been looking at this message board for quite a while now, and finally signed up. I've gotten a lot of answers to my questions just by reading. My Mother has a problem that I haven't seen mentioned though. She's been in and out of hospitals, nursing homes, and now Hospice is here. No one has an answer. She thinks she is standing up even though she is laying in bed. Over and over she ask, please let me lay down, I'm so tired of standing, just get me to bed. Sometimes her feet are even moving like she's walking. I can see she's exhausted and there is nothing I can do to comfort her. I'll adjust the hospital bed so she's sitting, then put her down and say, see, now you are laying down. Sometimes it works, often it doesn't. So many other things I feel I need to talk about but, I'll just start out with the standing up laying down question. Has anyone else experienced this with the one you are caring for? One thing I've learned so far is, with dementia sometimes there are no answers, and every person is different. My Mother seems to be pretty extreme even by dementia standards.

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egads60, sounds like your Mom has delirium. My Mom had that, she thought she was standing and was scared she would fall, she wanted to sit down.... the fact was she was already lying in bed. Her legs would be moving like she was riding a bicycle real fast and her hands would be reaching up for the sky. One time she did this for a solid hour.

What your Mom is going through is normal. In fact, I read where 90% of elders will experience delirium when they are in a hospital type setting, and 30% of much younger people will experience this after having major surgery. There are meds that can help calm the person, ask Hospice for their suggestions.
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Hi there. So sorry you and your Mom are going through that. We had a similar problem with my Mom, though not as extreme as your Mom's sounds. My mother would often DO the opposite of what we asked her. When we'd tell her to stand up, she'd bend down instead. Or when I asked her to open her mouth, she'd squeeze it shut. Her brain was mixing up the signal somehow. What worked for us was just to give her a minute of quiet, to not keep repeating what we wanted her to do, and give her time to relax. Then when she seemed calm, we'd repeat the question and she was fine. I don't know if that will help with your Mom. It is a very strange and heartbreaking disease, isn't it? Affects everyone so differently.

I wonder if when your Mom insists she's standing, if you go along with it at first. Agree with her. Then ask her to lie down and go through the motions of it.

Much love to you and your Mom.
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My mom doesn't think she is standing up, but she isn't aware she is in bed either. Many times she will call me and ask to go to bed, or to have the covers pulled up, or she will tell me she wants to sleep, even though she is tucked up nicely in bed. Funny, isn't it? She is also so, so tired, even though she sleeps more than she is awake. Have you tried any meds? Mirtazapine has really has helped reduce the weird thoughts and behaviours, ativan did nothing at all.
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Could your mom be on medication that's causing her to feel dizzy? It could be that dizziness is making her feel as if she's standing up. Take her pillow from under her head just for a moment and then put it back. Ask her if that feels better. Then tell her that she is lying down. Make sure her eyes are open, ask her to see the ceiling. Ask her to turn her head towards you. Ask her if she can see you. Remind her again that she's lying down. Try to encourage her to be aware of her body if she's able to.
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