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We had the same problem. Mom's sponge was dotted with black mold, so I took it away, knowing she would pick it out of the garbage. Then I went to see the head nurse about bathing. I would also alert nursing if mom had an MD appointment the next day. Mom would cooperate if she was seeing the MD.
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What you suggested sounds like a very good plan to me. I don't blame your mother for wanting to have her privacy, but she does need to have at least one full shower a week. Two would be even better. Tell her that the complete showers will help her prevent UTIs and trouble with the area "down there." Let her know the aides are professionals that see people in their birthday suits all the time. Maybe you can help her feel more comfortable.

If all else fails you can tell her she smells like a grizzly bear and if she doesn't bathe soon the flies will find her. (Just kidding here, but I've smelled some people who stopped bathing and it is not a nice smell.)
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