I am an only child and my father died 6 years ago. My mother has had mental illness for as long as I can remember, but her family refuses to acknowledge it. My mother has lupus and moderate dementia. Her family is so backwards themselves they do not see the dementia. My mother will not do a living will, power of attorney and took me off her hippa. She keeps changing doctors and will only tell them what she wants them to know. When a doctor gives her a diagnosis she doesn't like, she changes. My mother is 87 years old, lives 45 miles from me. All of her family live within 2 miles of her but never stop to check in on her and never have. I want to take care of my mother but she will not allow it. She could not even figure out how to renew her medicare insurance, homeowners insurance and cannot balance her checkbook. I explained this to the sister she has allowed on her hippa only to be told she did not believe me. I have had a terrible relationship with my mother since I was nine years old and a great relationship with my father. My mother was jealous of me and the love and attention my father gave me. All of this completely unjustified because we both loved her. As I stated, she has some type of mental disorder that has never been diagnosed and her family just accepts her ways and fails to see that their is something terribly wrong with her mentally. I do not know what to do to take care of her. I walk on egg shells with her and never know how and when she will go off on me. My mother is in complete denial about her lupus and will not even acknowledge she has is. Her doctor has suggested I have declared incompetent, but her five sisters insist there is nothing wrong with her. She threw one of her fits and sat home alone Christmas eve and Christmas Day. When I checked on her, she was telling me she heard "people" knocking on her house all through out the night. This has happened many times and when I have the police to check on this, of course, no evidence of anyone around her home. It is the dementia. She refuses to allow me to have cameras installed. She refuses to come and live with me. She refuses anyone staying with her and refuses moving to assisted living. Again, I have no support from her family. I do not know what to do or how to proceed. Despite all of the ugliness, I do not particularly like my mother, but I do love her and do not want anything to happen to her.