Mother stacks used toilet paper on the counter by the toilet. Anyone else dealing with an issue like this?

I should order some, and then engineer a private conversation with her in her bedroom as you put them away, and "big up" the product's benefits - "wonderful how pretty they make these now, but so effective and spare 'us' those annoying little accidents..."

That way she has the option of saying nothing and giving them a try, or of lobbing them at your head as you leave the room; but in either case you're not forcing her to admit to anything that might embarrass her.

Thank you all for your help. There is a trashcan next to her commode, but she doesn't use that at all...which is interesting. She does fold stuff incessantly, but not her tissues - leaving them on the counter. (And, @Countrymouse, thanks for the reminder about hand washing!)

So, today we noticed she had a pile of toilet tissue on top of her underwear on the floor, which leads me to believe she may be leaking. It may be time to change her into "pullups." Anyone familiar with having a conversation about this kind of change? Do I even broach the subject or just put them in her drawer (where she keeps her underwear) and change them out every day or so? She is one of those that is very "private" about her bathroom.

From what I've read, folding/hoarding paper products is a fairly common problem with dementia and/or Alzheimer's patients. It's generally harmless, but not when it comes to used toilet paper, as you've noted.

When my mother was still able to change her wet Depends, she would use baby wipes to cleanse her front, and then she'd stuff the used wipes in her walker basket instead of bagging them up with the used pants. When I asked her why, she said, "Well, there's nothing really wrong with them. It's not as though they have poop on them or anything. I can always use them again. They're so expensive!"

It was another manifestation of her Depression-era mentality (never throw anything away until it's completely used up or useless). I told her it was an unsanitary and unnecessary practice, but she refused to give it up, so I simply cleaned out her walker basket several times a day over her protestations. She's now gotten to the point where she can't change her own pants any more (I do it for her), so the problem no longer exists.

If your mom won't flush the TP or even use a wastebasket next to the toilet, you may just have to do Potty Patrol several times a day and dispose of it yourself (that is, if she lives with you and it's possible for you to do that). Oh, and mention this behavior change to her doctor on her next visit.

Grandma does this but not on the counter. She puts it between the waterproof pad and the sheet in her bed. I ask her why she does this. She says it's still clean on one side. She's rational about it. She reuses it. I just go and clean it out everyday.

From talking to other people. It's age related since all these people are old. Back in their day, TP was a rare commodity. They had to conserve. Every sheet is sacred. When I mention it to physical therapist or doctors, they say it's common for older people to conserve TP like that. I don't think this is a new behavior for grandma. She's been doing this her whole life. It's that it was done in private before.

My grandma was doing this too and it drove my mom crazy until we put an open trash can for her to throw it into. I don’t think my grandma has an inversion to flushing, I believe it’s because our toilet (like many others) don’t flush well if you have already just flushed and because of urinary incontinence issues she ends up having to wipe more than one time but has already flushed so in her mind rather than risk clogging the toilet, because back in her day that could happen so if there is no trash can she will fold it and leave it there.

I have heard of similar issues with TP so often that it almost seems as though there is a secret manual out there for those suffering from dementia, I've also read lots of theories about this weird aversion to flushing but many times they just don't apply.
Perhaps you could provide a trash can near to hand.

I have noticed that folding things seems to become a common habit in dementia. Tissues, table cloths, bedsheets, there does seem to be a lot of absent-minded "fiddling" goes on. Does your mother do this with her Kleenex or her newspaper or anything like that, besides her altered bathroom routine?

This must be a worry, though, anyway. Is anyone with her to pop in after each bathroom visit, check what's happened with the paper and - especially - guide her through hand washing?