Mother snuck out of the nursing home last week. Any insight?

Have the doctor order the elopement bracelet, or get a private GPS to track her without her knowledge.

Ask yourself, "Why is this happening, I thought she was going to be cared for".

Starting with a detective from the police department, making a police report only, not a criminal complaint should be the first thing to do to document this scenario. It will protect your Mother if they try to discharge her from the SNF, called a (constructive discharge), because she is under memory care, not able to legally leave or discharge herself as she is under a court ordered guardianship with documents given to the facility, they would be legally negligent for allowing a man (a stranger) to take her out. The reason they would want to "constructively discharge" her (making it appear her fault, poor behaviors, uncooperative, etc) is because they were negligent with her care, did not immediately report the incident to you, making light of a serious situation, leaves them liable to a lawsuit.
Please give up the idea that your mother snuck out-behaviors are no longer her fault-and look at this as a reportable offence, and protect her future safety.

You say you hate to call the cops in. You need to document this, and ask for a copy of the "incident report" by the facility. If there is none, that again is just another red red flag. Thankful that perhaps no harm came to your Mom does not protect her from future harm. Sorry you have to be the responsible one for your Mother. Sorry that her illness causes her to say things like, "You are not the boss of me!", but legally she is your charge-don't let her, or anyone, intimidate you!

Maybe you can plan a day off premises with her, see how that goes, if she is allowed. Would you need the docor's permission? Did this "man/stranger" need the doctor's permission? Find out what their policy is to have a patient leave the premises.

Or, you can just ignore the advice. Good luck to you and your Mom.

P.S. If it was my Mom, I would help her escape that place-in my dreams!

@Sendme2help. You are correct. I don't know who this person was. Based on my mother's recent behavior, i.e., "you're not the boss of me", it could have been an attempt on her part to assert independence. There is a gentleman there who is very annoying who she has managed to establish a friendship with. It may have been one of his friends. I hate to call the cops in this circumstance. I will have to weigh this out.

Yes, I'd let them conduct their own investigation. But....

I would contact State Ombudsman

I would contact local police in writing to let them know that your mother was abducted. If you are her guardian and she in a facility, it's the same as if a child was taken from a school.

I would make sure gps tracking device is on mom.

I would send certified letter to the faciliity, cc to Ombudsman. Stste attorney general and joint commission outlining the issue and asking what their plan is for remediation of the issue and its prevention.

As an accountant type, be sure to obtain a credit report right away.
Anyone could have taken her to the bank, opened an account-even as 'husband and wife' in a different name!

Please, at least do your own investigation.

The police would like to investigate and talk to this 'stranger', the man who kidnapped your mother from the facility, and the nurse who allowed the patient to sign herself out.
A crime may have been committed, and at this point you don't know. Assault on an elderly woman? Kidnapping for identity fraud purposes. Some kind of exploitation? Could be, the nurse's boyfriend, they have a plan?

Just anything could have happened. Go for help.

@Rainmom. Thank you for responding. I went to the top of the chain at the nursing home and the admin said to me, "let us conduct our own internal investigation". I got a call from the social worker, of which you can see by my post, did not go well. Not well at all. I find the nurses there all rally around one another (since I've had a meeting regarding my mother before) and offer blank stares when I ask a question. It's almost as if, "he is a man and does not deserve our respect" sort of thing. Very frustrated at this point. All I do is write checks and act as an accountant.

Hugedoof- it can all be so overwhelming it is natural to feel isolated in your fight for proper care for your mother. But a fight is often what it is - seemingly on multiple fronts - the home, your mother, often siblings and doctors. But trust me, you are not alone in the bigger picture as most people wouldn't be on this site if it weren't for our own battles. You'll get all kinds of advice here and it's up to you to pick through what might be helpful and what won't. I was a very apt pupil- in looking back at it all I did pretty well considering I didn't know what I was dealing with - I was clueless regarding dementia. But when I felt myself going under I found this site, asked for advice and I took it. My life is the better for it which isn't to say I'm not still in a battle. The two best pieces of advice I can give is: continue to post here and don't let anyone at your mothers facility give you a bunch of nonsense regarding your mothers care. If you aren't satisfied with what they are telling you, keep working up the chain of command until you get some answers that make sense to you and action plans for better care are implemented.

@Veronica91. She left with a man. I had never heard of him. She has no access to money. She's not missing. She returned to the facility. Problem was that they let her slip out.

Can you report her missing to the Police. Does she have access to money? Did she leave with a male or female?

@Babalou. I don't know why they would remove it. Just a very disconcerting interaction all around. I guess I will need to talk to the doctor or somebody there who has some compassion. Don't know. Feel very alone in this.

Why would they remove the bracelet?

Proceed to the Director's Office and demand solid answers. Report the escape to the county health department since they oversee nursing homes.

@ Rainmom. Nice facility. Full services. My mother is in a dementia unit with memory care. I DID NOT remove the bracelet. The facility did. The bracelet was one that will trip the door alarm. I had a very difficult interaction with the social worker. I am upset by this and not sure how to proceed.

Can you tell us a bit more about the facility? Is it large? More that one type of care - memory care, typical NH? Why did you remove the bracelet? Was it the type of bracelet that would alarm at the doors?