Mother snuck out of the nursing home last week. Any insight?

Their "goat-eyed stares" are meant to intimidate you into treading lightly for they are trying to protect themselves. Take no prisoners as you pursue the truth.

When things were not "comme il faut" at mom's facility, i asked, in a very low voice, why my next call should not be to the Joint Commision. Things have been pretty nift since then. Not perfect. But acceptable.

I would ignore stares from staff. They might be of admiration.

I doubt if they are of admiration. I would ignore them or stare right back.DO NOT, MOST OF ALL, ALLOW INTIMIDATION!

Please le us know how it goes but just curious - is your intent to move your mm to another facilty now or do you feel stuck where she is and don't want things to ge any worst?

How could it be worse than allowing the abduction of a mentally incompetent dementia patient and not seeing it as a problem?

Thank you for all of your responses. The solution was to contact the local ombudsman for our county here in Massachusetts. The ombudsman covers a series of nursing homes including the one my mother is in. My conversation with the ombudsman resulted in a) her having an investigative conversation with the nursing home administrator b) a review of the "event" paperwork c) working with me to allow me to escalate the situation however I want. I advised the ombudsman about my discomfort with one individual in particular on the nursing staff as well as the social worker. She confirmed to me that I was not the only person who has experienced this "discomfort". So, I will continue to pursue and see what the outcome is from the ombudsman.

Hugedoof: I am extremely happy to hear that you've had some kind of resolution to this problem and also, now you know that you weren't alone in having discomfort of one staff member. Now you know you can continue to work with the ombudsman.

If this has happened once and since the agency did not seem too upset, I'm betting this has happened before there. Give management, IN WRITING, notice about who can take her out, who can visit. You may also want to see if there are elder care nurse case managers in your area...they are independent RNs with years of experience in the field and they work for YOU. They know who to talk to and how to talk to them. Sign up for a credit protection service for her right away. You have a predator on your hands.

Took my mother to dinner. During our visit, my wife quietly checked the sign-out book. We noted that my mother had signed herself out writing "lunch with *******." During our conversation, I discovered that a gentlemen whom I know, took her out to lunch that day. Be that as it may, she did "pull a fast one". Also, the floor nurse (he is really good) advised me that they did place an elopement bracelet on my mother, but she cut it off; then refused to wear it. This is typical of her "personality disturbance". The nursing home has placed ane elopement rod inside her walker. The thing that disturbed me in regard to all of this was the fact that the social worker I spoke to originally seemed out-of-touch with my mother's case. Lastly, I advised the social worker to check my mother's logic circuits as it were. My mother can plot to lie (my mother has been a confabulator all her life), but she can't figure out an e-mail application, how to turn on her TV etc. So, I know that the social worker chatted with my mother and challenged her with regard to the computer and TV. My mother, who can't remember how to send an e-mail, even though I've "educated" her a thousand times on the process, asked me once again a) how to turn the computer off/on b) how to send an e-mail. I nicely showed her. Of course, after we finished the conversation, she could not remember how to do what we just talked about. So - here we go.

Huge, the issue is not what the SW THINKS. The issue that you have GUARDIANSHIP. I would challenged that SW's competence with her employer. And with the state agency that licenses her. Now.

That's right. A social worker can't override a court's finding of fact and decree. This most be the most bizarre situation I've ever heard of. I would think that facilities are closed for similar lapses.

I agree, the SW sounds like an idiot - which is a shame as I think it's one of the most vital roles in an institution that cares for a vulnerable population and by extension their families.

@Babalou, Sunnygirl1, Rainmom - I am well aware that the social worker cannot override a court ordered guardianship. As I have posted earlier, I have a call into the ombudsman for this nursing home, and the circumstances were well explained by me. I am expecting a call this week from the ombudsman. So, we shall see what happens from here.

Huge, you seemed to indicate in your post today that you had advised the sw to "check your mom's logic circuits". That's what i was responding to. She has no need to. You have guardianship. If the sw wants to challenge that, the judge will be happy to listen to her petition.

It sounds like you've taken the correct steps. Good luck!

These SNF's staffs can be "off their game, so to speak." Then when the patient's family shows up, they act like they've got it all together! Some, but not all, are loads of BS!