Should I just wake her when I think she's slept enough or to feed her? She seems to be in a better "mind" when she is allowed to just wake & get up on her on schedule.
When people have a purpose to be awake, it's always easier to keep a schedule of waking and sleeping. If you can keep from letting her sleep on her own schedule, she will be better for it. When people still work, they have a set schedule to get up, go to work, come home and go to bed but people who are retired tend to just let it happen whenever and wind up waking up later and later in the day, then staying up later at night watching tv, reading, etc. It becomes a hard process to break once they lapse into that routine. If the elder lives with you, try to keep a set schedule of waking in the morning so meds can be taken at the same time every day, bathing, dressing, etc. can be done and like a couple of others here, let them nap once or twice but make sure they get to bed after their night meds between 8-10 pm. Play a radio or TV so they stay awake. Some meds cause sleepiness and they will nod off sitting in the chair but a nap won't hurt. I have meds that cause sleepiness, usually my BP meds, so I plan to take them early in the morning if the directions say I can. All my appointments with doctors, repair people, etc. are made in the afternoon so I can have the mornings to get thru all the meds that cause sleepiness. You can also have all aide help for afternoons only and it may be less expensive that way. I always keep one that cause sleepiness for night so I can go to sleep. You may need to go online to find out which meds cause sleepiness and/or urination. You don't want those at night. Like HomewithDad, if your mom eats regularly, normal appetite, wakes up and takes her meds, has a daily routine for bathing, cleaning, it would seem she is doing ok regardless of how many naps she takes. 15-20 hours a day is not normal though unless she's in her 90s. I think once a person gets to that age, she can do whatever she wants if it makes her happy. Most elders who live that long do sleep longer than others. If her health is otherwise ok, ask her doctor and see what he/she says and go with that advice.
My mom naps a lot during the day and you could call it sleep. I do not time her sleeping, and I feel OK about it because she gets up and turns on the news and sits up in the morning. She eats regularly. She does not sleep as much at night because she misses her husband, but as long as she is eating, waking up, taking her meds, etc., I am mot worried about a lot of day time naps.
Ask the doctor! I hope she is seeing a dementia specialist who can help you understand the phases and progression of dementia. Sometimes it depends on what type of dementia she has.
When you get her up, will she stay awake and do any kind of activity? I agree with the previous posts that her hygiene and meds MUST occur as ordered by the doctor.
If your mom is in an advanced stage of dementia, then talk to hospice. People think that's for the 3-5 days before death, but it is NOT. Hospice is a lot more attentive and informative than the routine doctor/PA can be. The focus is on comfort, not getting well.
Well usually older people are on medications, and medications need to be taken on a schedule. I usually have my mom tucked into bed by 8:00 at night and still have to wake her up in the morning. I have noticed if I let her oversleep she often has difficulty walking because of pain in her knees and I know she will feel better in the long run if she gets her wet clothes changed, has her breakfast and takes her medications. She the goes back to bed for a "nap" until noon.
When you get her up, will she stay awake and do any kind of activity?
I agree with the previous posts that her hygiene and meds MUST occur as ordered by the doctor.
If your mom is in an advanced stage of dementia, then talk to hospice. People think that's for the 3-5 days before death, but it is NOT. Hospice is a lot more attentive and informative than the routine doctor/PA can be. The focus is on comfort, not getting well.