Mother shreds her "depends" at night and throws the pieces all over her room. Any advice?

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Is there a way to control or modify this behavior? My 93 year old mother has late stage dementia. She has worn "depends" day & night for more than 7 years. A couple of months ago she tore up her depends, in the middle of the night & threw the wet pieces on the floor. This has increased & now occurs 4 or 5 nights a week. Usually around 5 AM she calls for me because she is all wet. She has no recollection of this strange ongoing behavior & is upset at the mess that she sees in her room in the AM. I have tried extra tape so most nights she does not remove it completely but shreds the front of the depends. Any suggestions/advice is most appreciated.

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I see. I know it's difficult, but I would revisit his overnight challenges. I would imagine that your mom is not able to be of assistance throughout the night as he struggles, falls and wets the bed. It sounds like the overnight person might be needed or an adult onsie. Eventually, the nighttime acting out could have a significant outcome, that puts him in more severe condition. Plus, it must be terribly stressful for your mom in the house while this is going on. I do wish you all the best.
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Sunnygirl1, he lives with our Mom, I live close by. It is a long complicated story. I became his guardian and conservator after a bad reaction to anesthesia given during back surgery 3 years ago. People with neurological disease often have serious reactions to anesthesia. We had no idea what that entailed and the relief of back pain was our focus.

He was in rehab for 3 months, 24/7 at home care, then 18 hours per day, 12 hours, then 6 hours per day since then. Has been unable to live alone for 3 years. Probably longer, but he hid his problems from everyone. He never married, was a loner and stubbornly independent. He recovered and was doing very well, then fell in March. Emergency room for 30 hours, then rehab for 2 months. We had caregivers 24/7 for months and now caregivers 6:30am to 10pm every day. Usually he sleeps through the night thanks to the Melatonin (yes, his neurologist approves). We have to be very careful with medications of any kind because of the Parkinson's and the medicines he already takes. This behavior happens once in 4-6 weeks, maybe. Does not matter how often, it is frustrating.

Yes, his doctors know about these symptoms and problems. He is in physical and occupational therapy twice a week, pain clinic for his back every 3 weeks at this point. Hoping he will be able to participate in Big & Loud again when he feels better. We are working with a urologist and his primary care internist for the incontinence. Parkinson's is a horrible disease, every person has different symptoms, they come and go and change constantly. I attend all appointments, go to PD support groups, lectures and seminars. The most helpful support are the various groups on Facebook which is how I found out about this site, which has been the most helpful for many reasons.

Nurses, social workers and therapists wanted us to put him in a nursing home ... not what he wants and not what we want for him. He has had a slow steady improvement with at home care and all that we do for him ... very little improvement in rehab. So, we will continue to do everything we can to keep him safe and comfortable. I really did not want to go into all of this, but since you asked ...
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Krismellebrand, are you saying that your brother is in his home all night without a caregiver until they arrive at 6:30 a.m.? If his dementia is causing him to be falling, shredding his Depends and wetting the bed throughout the night, I'd be concerned with him being unattended. Who's arranging for his care?

Plus, does his doctor know about his symptoms? Has his doctor approved the Melatonin? Perhaps another medication might more.
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My brother who has Parkinson's Disease does the same thing. He was always an early riser and still tries to get up and go to the bathroom. He cannot do this himself without a caregiver (who arrives at 6:30am). He wears Depends because of the night time accidents and inability to get to the bathroom and he falls when he gets out of bed. We tried Melatonin to help him sleep better, it works very well. The behavior has been reduced because he sleeps longer. If he does wake early he shreds his Depends and throws them on the floor and then wets the bed. We are going to try the back fastening clothing next. Hope one of these tips works for you, it is so frustrating!
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So sorry for both you and your mom - is there a way to change her once during the night or does she go continuously - with summer hot nights it must be uncomfortable to be wet and I know it's hard to get a good nights sleep if you have to get up with her but in a care facility they would be expected to change her every 4- to 5 hours which is still not often enough in my opinion
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There's a company called Buck & Buck that sells all kinds of adaptive clothing including the onesies mentioned above. You can order online or request a paper catalog, and the items are reasonable - about $35 for a sleep suit, for example.
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I have read about adult onsies that you can purchase online. They close in the back and the person is not able to take them off by themselves, so she would not be able to get the diaper off. They are designed just for the purpose you need it for. I've never tried them before, but have read about them on this site. Maybe, someone who has used them for their loved one will chime in. Good luck!
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Thank you for your imput. wck409
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I have no suggestions but your predicament reminded me of my mother when she was in the NH and fell and broke her pelvis and arm. They put her arm in a soft cast because she was so frail. Every day she unraveled the cast and too it off - sometimes 4-5 times a day. They tried everything to keep it on her. With her dementia she didn't connect the cast with the broken arm and healing - she just wasn't capable of mentally processing that any more. She was so restless she had to be sedated 24/7 to keep her calm, so taking off the cast was something aimless to do because she was incapable of a hobby or anything requiring thinking.
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