My Mother says the same thing over and over again and I wonder what the compassionate response is to these repetitive phrases?

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My Mother says the same thing over and over again and I wonder what the compassionate response is to these repetitive phrases?

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I learned to say "Imagine that" from a counselor. Its neutral and that you can't be right or wrong and still be engaged in the loop.

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When my husband repeats something over and over—usually when answering a question—I tell him I heard him the first time. When he hears someone in the facility where he lives repeat things, he says, "See what I have to put up with?"

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Great responses. Patience is the first thing and sounds like you try that. I try to put something in Dad's hands that will distract this type of loop. Changing location,walking away for a few moments(whatever you can do safely) . Verbal explanations are too stressful. Maybe you can write a memo and hand it to her. Have it laminated and ready. Maybe it will say " I am thankful for you too". Have a variety of these cards. Don't hand them all….too much clutter. This disease is as unique and individual as the person. Caregivers are great. Do not forget that!

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Over time I suppose I've blocked the frustration button. Probably not the best Response but I'm in survival mode. I need to try to emotionally detach and just have my brain answer. I have a written list of go to things when mum gets stuck in the loop. They include her favourite TV programs if we are home. Have hours recorded. I have some dementia specific jigsaws colouring books and card games. I talk to her about her flowers etc if we are out I'll point out anything. Basic diversion. I just try to shut out the frustration. I also spend time meditating and trying to find things to be grateful for. Sometimes that can be hard if I'm in the overwhelm mode. It seems to help me keep on an even keel. I've realised I can't change what she says it's like talking to a brick wall. When I forget that and vent to my brother he says ' brick wall' and it resets my expectations.

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When is the last time she had a full medical workup including some screening for dementia? She may be progressing in some disease process. She may be finding it harder to put sentences together, something which can lead to people repeating the same phrases. A simple thank you from you at the beginning is likely enough. If you can just let the other thank yous go by and not focus on them you may find that you are less anxious. Much frustration comes from unrealistic expectation. Sometimes we need to lower our expectations of people, especially those in a disease process, so that they are more realistic and we can better adjust to our new reality.

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My mom went through the repetitive stage of dementia as well. Sometimes it can be an indicator of stress or anxiety - similar to a tic (somewhat like biting nails, rolling fhumb and fingertips, etc). She's probably not even aware that she's saying the phrase repetitively. Lexapro helped my Mom a lot. She also slept better and had fewer issues with sun downing. Check with a geriatric MD or Geriatric psychiatrist just to have your concerns addressed.

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Hearing something over and over again can be frustrating. With dementia, it is kinda like the tape recorder loop is stuck at one point, so the person will keep repeating themselves until the loop gets unstuck. And then when the brain gets back to that same place, it will get stuck again.

I am sure there are others on the forum who will give you great advice on what to say as I never personally run into that issue with my parents.

In the mean time, Aging Care website has a lot of good articles about Alzheimer's/Dementia. Go to https://www.agingcare.com/Alzheimers-Dementia and scroll down to the articles that are of interest to you.

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My Mother says the same thing over and over again and I wonder what the compassionate response is to these repetitive phrases?

37 Answers

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