Follow
Share

My 89 year old mother has been at a rehab facility after a fall. She has been saying that her doctor who is NOT at this facility likes to give shots to people to kill them. I was talking to one of the staff today and apparently she told the person that her daughter(me) and son in law told the doctor to give her a shot to kill her. The nurse was appalled as I have been visiting everyday, not to mention that we have been helping her the last 5 years. Can someone please tell me what to do??

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
My mom says the darnedest things and has these fantastical delusions. I used to find them disturbing but I'm so used to them now I just go with it and actually ask mom to keep going, tell me more, etc. she goes on and on and then 10 min later snaps back into reality and doesn't remember anything.

I've learned to look at it as "a good read" lol.

I wish I could record some of them, they are that good!

try not to stress over them or try to figure them out or correct her. Just listen or change the subject, like "let's get a snack or ice cream"; let's take a walk, look at the lovely bird out the window...etc.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

And, a couple of years ago, when Medicare was launching the reimbursement to physicians for having a discussion about "advance directives" they got mis-characterized by some folks as " death panels". I'm sure that's stuck in the back of some brains.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

My mom's generation tended to think of death and dying as taboo subjects and especially with dementia on top of that, it is easy to see why bringing up the advance directives subject would have been disturbing and threatening to your mom and totally misinterpreted like that. If she does go back to psych maybe you can make sure they understand that this is not the purpose of the visit, they need to talk about how she is feeling what she is worrying about, and whether any medications would help her. I think it will be in your court as POA to try to intuit what she would really want in terms of advance directives or any limitations of future care.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Delerium can be a symptom of dementia. It does not cause dementia. It can also be the result of vertain medications, illnesses, or for some, exposure to a new and frightening environment.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

My mom thinks everyone at her memory care facility wants to kill her - even residents in wheelchairs
Distracting her with a treat usually helps
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Koko12, brother needs to come to town for a visit, while she is still in rehab. Maybe he should sit in on the Friday PT progress review at the facility. At least you might want to. My gut feeling is that she will not progress without keeping her focused on that. That's very hard to do with dementia.
A doctor asking about advanced directives and health care proxy, well he's either a really good planner or he suspects her time is short. Patients don't want to hear that, so they dump the doctor.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Well I spoke to someone at the facility today and they would not help me get a psych consult for her. They told me to go through her primary care physician but when she was there last time she got very upset because he spoke with her about directives and getting her affairs in order. Little does he know that she is accusing him of doing away with elderly. Also my brother has been calling her and screaming at her that she should not be in the house anymore. Allow me to say that he has seen her one week in the last 5 years and knows nothing about the situation and how much we do. He even went so far as to tell me we need to move out also. We are not living there for free. Pay our share plus all the extras. If not for me she would not be eating meals and getting meds
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Delirium can be treated if the delirium is a side effect to an illness, surgery, or medication. If the delirium is part of dementia, it can come and go.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

nasmir, try not to dwell on the dark side. Redirect to happier thoughts when the clouds begin to form overhead. It's part of healing. Been there. Done that.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

One other thing. Since mom is in rehab, start thinking in terms of facility placement. It sounds as though she needs more specialized care than what she's jad previously.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Koko your mom doesn't sound like she's in her right mind - she either has a urinary tract infection (which may not be the case if this has been going on for months) or she has dementia of some sort. She can't help it - she's not doing this out of spite, her brain is broken. A psych consult is called for.

So continue to support her and start watching videos about Alzheimers or dementia on youtube (Teepa Snow has great ones) so you can understand that it's her screwed up brain, not her true feelings. I'm sorry you have to go through this.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Oh. No, not time to walk away. Time to get mom aeen by a geriatric psychiatrist. Has she been diagnosed with dementia prior to the fall?

My mom was diagnosed with Vascular dementia after a stroke.( she had preciously been diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Impairment; her execurive functioning wasn't great, but she was still in the same reality as the rest of us. However, when she was transferred to subavute rehab, it was clear that "something" was off. She reported that she needed to pay for "everything". That she was requured to take and manage her neds on her own (i was in the room with her and the nurse who had just administered her meds. When i looked confused about her statement, she pointed to her water pitcher with a significant look). The aide was having sexnin the bathroom. Dead bodies were being wheeled about.

We tried explaining and reasoning. That lasted for a torturous week or so before the sw suggested a psych consult.

Antianxiety meds helped a great deal. So did two different antidepressants. She continuea on all these meds and three years later, she's mostly okay. She's started to have some increased late afternoon anxiety about having a terrible skin disease, but we reassure her.

You can't argue with or reason away delusions like this. You can only reassure. "Oh mom, that must feel awful to think we'd want to hurt you" . Then distract with an activity. I know, the distraction does work with my mom. If she's terribly upset, i get the nurse and they give her an extra dose of antianxiety meds.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It hurts like Heck!
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

At times, a person with dementia cannot distinguish nightmares from reality and this is what may be happening. Hopefully no one believes her - ask them and reassure them you have never, ever once thought of such a thing - and hopefully in your state it is not legal, if it is you could have an actual problem, someone might think that is what you or she wants and look into it. The geropsych and medical evals are very much in order. There is actually medication now, pimvanserin, that may help with psychosis and delusions in some forms of dementia.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

The doctor with the lethal injection thing began several months ago way before the fall. I am not sure that I will feel safe once she returns home, incidentally the ones that are supposedly in a pact with the Doctor are the ones who sacrificed everything so that she could remain in her home. Is it time for me to walk away?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Uti testing certainly. And find out if there is a geriatric psychiatrist at the facility who can consult. Some antianxiety meds may be needed. Poor dear, how terrifying!!
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

I agree, my mom says crazy things like this every time she has a trauma. Might want to have them test for a Uti, thats usually whats going on with my mom.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Koko, sounds like your Mom has delirium which is normal for someone her age who has had a fall and is now in rehab. Just ignore those strange remarks. I am surprised the nurse was appalled as they see this on a regular basis.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter