Follow
Share

My 87 year old has been in Assisted Living for a little over a year. She has been getting up and down regularly with a walker and now she wants to stay in the bed. She is refusing to eat, drink and not taking meds. She has Dementia and it seems to be getting worse. Can she stay in assisted living refusing everything or are there any other options? The assisted living facility wants me to get sitters at 25-30 dollars per hour to help my mom. I just don’t see that helping her.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
I think it may be time for Hospice and allowing your mom to make her final exit. In last stages there is no wish to take in food and fluid, and sleeping is the norm. She will receive meds to keep her comfortable and relaxed. I can't see a reason for 24/7 aids myself, but then I haven't talked to the facility. She may require in facility hospice care. I would ask her physician and the institution where your mom is to discuss this with you.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

My mother was in AL, she did the same thing, no dementia. She was ready to go, died last month at 100. We let her do what she wanted, did not fight her in any way. We brought Hospice in, she was able to stay in her room in AL, died peacefully.

Her right, her decision, I respect that.
Helpful Answer (7)
Report

People have the right to choose when they are ready to go. I urge you to respect her wishes and contact hospice right away to help with support. The AL should approve this within their facility. People usually don't need to be moved at this point.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Your mom is 87. She may have decided that she is done fighting and is ready to go. That is her right. Just support her and make sure she is not in any pain.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Wishing you well also. Dealing with my elderly mom that's not eating refuses the feeding tube too. She is fading away right before my eyes this is so heartbreaking 💔. Wish there were
more medical procedures to help
all.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Have her checked for a UTI which may be responsible for a change in her behavior. Or maybe she's having TIAs. If she's clear of a UTI then she needs MC or LTC. My MIL started in AL and then just refused to get out bed or go to the dining room or participate in activities, leading to 7 years in LTC (skipping MC). She went on meds for depression which helped her, and she was willing to be wheeled to the dining room and other activities.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Your mom needs Memory Care Assisted Living and hospice coming in to keep her comfortable. It sounds like she's at end of life now, so call her doctor to discuss a hospice referral. My parents AL agreed to keep a resident until death IF they were on hospice care. See what the admin has to say about that in your mom's case. I don't see what good a sitter would do except to encourage mom to get up and to eat. It may be worth a try.

Best of luck to you.
Helpful Answer (7)
Report
swmckeown76 May 30, 2025
Hospice only if you *know* she would want that. Hospice is for people with a life expectancy of <= 6 months to live, Of course, if she doesn't eat, drink, or take medications, her life expectancy will certainly be less than 6 months. She could have a feeding tube and IV's, but again, only do that if it's what she would want.
(0)
Report
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter