My mother is 90 and has some mild dementia and bad balance issues and has recently been having even more trouble caring for herself due to a bad knee. She called me over and over and over again, begging me to take her to a nursing home, as she no longer wanted to live alone and realized she couldn't take care of herself and was scared of falling. I dropped everything I had on my plate - including taking care of my own health needs. I cancelled two important doctor appointments, including one physical therapy appointment that I had waited for for six weeks. I jumped through every hoop imaginable in order to visit facilities, then made numerous trips to her doctors office to get forms done and re-done because of their errors. I did everything I could in order to get everything taken care of ASAP and all the while, she was calling me and begging, "Please take me today." I haven't been sleeping because I've been so worried about her being on her own and I've been worried about leaving her at at a facility, too. I brought her there today and filled out tons more of paperwork, wrote the check for the deposit and first month's cost and gave them my credit card number to have on file and basically moved her in. After only being there for about four hours (with me there much of the time), she went into complete panic mode and insisted on going home. She refused to stay for even two weeks to try and get used to it. After all the begging and pleading for me to get her there right away, she said "I just didn't think it would be like this." So now we're back where we started and she can't care for herself properly and I feel like giving up. I see no end to the relentless crushing pressure of dealing with her and with my siblings, who all have varying opinions of what mother needs and who are quick to hurl insults and barbs at each other such as, "I do more than you do to for Mother - you do nothing." It's exhausting and it's taken a toll on my daughter and my marriage. I have no future and no hope as long as my Mother is alive. I have a mental disorder and so does my 22 year old daughter. In other words, we have enough problems of our own. Our lives have been consumed by this and I'm at the breaking point. I want to move far, far away, but my husband refuses. If I can't escape, I think I'll die. My parents weren't all bad, but they abused us when we were growing up and as a result, my siblings and I all still suffer keep emotional scars to this day. When I expressed my disappointment to Mother today that she wouldn't even try it for two weeks after begging so hard to be brought there to live, Mother said, "I took care of all of you for a long time. I said, "Yes, Mother, you took care of me for 19 years. I have helped take care of you for 22 years. I feel like we're sort of even. When does it end? How much of our bodies, minds, hearts, and souls do we owe our parents? And how can I escape, short of suicide?