My Mother lives in independent living and pays $82 a week for food she can't eat. What can I do? - AgingCare.com

My Mother lives in independent living and pays $82 a week for food she can't eat. What can I do?

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She has been their a month and hasn't had any real meat. Is there some way she can get help to stop paying for meals she cant eat. I'm her daughter and when I complained about the meals on the weekend as they are in takeaway containers there was boiled cabbage baked potato and chicken it smelt horrible and looked just as bad when I said she wasn't to charge my mother for the weekend meal as they were inedible she told me to go away then made a speech at lunch time about a womans irrate daughter complaining about all the food being squashed into one takeaway container then she went and saw my mother and offered to take $10.00 off if she didn't get the weekend meals I think that is an insult as she pays $82.00 I threatened to go the council if she gave her another meal like that that's when she told me to go away a returned soldier cant eat her meals he never gets any but still has to pay he gets meals on wheels and has to pay for that as well can something be done about this as she feels there is nothing wrong with squashing potato boiled cabbage and chicken in the same container if you could help or tell me who could help it would benefit everyone living
Concerned daughter my mother is a very good cook and is more than capable of doing it for herself

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If you ordered a take out meal from a restaurant they would likely put it in one container. I don't see the issue. Cabbage normally smells and so do other foods, but that doesn't mean it's not good to eat.

Did you actually see the plate of food and taste it? I think I would confirm there is a real issue before I cancelled the plan. Most seniors who live alone are not keen on actually preparing their own nutritious meals, even though they say the will. Having one delivered that is hot and fresh makes much more sense, IMO. I think I would encourage mom to try the meals for at least a couple of months.
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Might have been a typo - "red meat", not "real meat"?
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Another thought - has your mother just moved in? If so, she may be experiencing a difficult adjustment and blames the food as the issue.

And for what your mother pays for food, you might even be able to arrange with a local restaurant to prepare several meals and deliver them.
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To whom did you complain? Go higher, all the way to the administrative top if you have to. Emphasize that you selected this facility because of its good reputation, things like that which first flatter them. Then become sad and share your concern about the food and how unhappy your mother is. Ask what the administrator can do about, and HOW this situation can be RESOLVED.

You could also contact the local Area Agency on Aging and find out what entity handles Meals on Wheels. I don't know if they deliver to independent living facilities but it's worth a try.

Another option, which isn't the best but could be workable, is to stop the facility meals and supply your mother with frozen home cooked meals or good quality purchased meals which she can heat up in a microwave.

I'm not familiar with the short or long term arrangements but if your mother isn't getting good food and isn't happy, maybe it's time to look elsewhere.
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My mom lives in an independent living apartment and doesn't go down for meals. She gets $150 credited each month for not eating their food. But then I have to bring her food she can heat in her microwave. See if you can get off their meal plan, like Txcamper and I suggest.
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If your mother is in Independent Living, then she probably has a functional kitchen in her apartment, right? Can you just decline the meal plan completely and let your mother fend for herself? I thought that was what Independent Living was anyway. I didn't get the part about the returned soldier, you lost me there.

I don't understand if the problem is that the food is improperly prepared, or if it's food that mom doesn't like, or if it's in a state she has trouble with (she needs it shredded or something). Boiled cabbage does smell horrible. But our elders usually have decreased sense of smell and don't object to the smell of cabbage.

Are the meals ok during the week, it's just on the weekends that they have pre-made meals that you and your mother find objectionable? I still think maybe, while she's capable, she should just take care of her own meals. Perhaps even frozen dinners that she can heat up, either homemade and frozen in Foodsaver bags, or purchased.

P.S. chicken is real meat. Do you mean to say in one month's time she hasn't had beef? Is that what you are referring to as real meat?
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