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My Mother is in a memory care nursing home in VT and my sister has guardianship. I live in Texas and am thinking about bringing my mom into our home thinking she will thrive better in a family setting. How easy is it to get guardianship in Texas? If my wife quits her job to stay with her is she able to get compensated through my mother?

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Your sister is your mother's guardian at the present time. What does she think about the idea of moving your mother to TX? Since your mother is in memory care, I imagine that she is in a fairly advanced stage of dementia. If she is, it may be best to let her remain as stable as possible unless you know she will do better with you. Have you spent long periods of time recently caring for your mother? Often people who are not there daily don't really know how things are.

I think it is wonderful that you want your mother to be as happy as possible. Too often we lose the human-ness of the elder with dementia. I am glad that you still see that. If your sister has been with her in VT, I would listen to the things that she says about her condition and work together to accomplish what you feel is best for your mother.

If you'll let us know a bit more about your mother, her history, and why she is in memory care, someone may have ideas about what might be best or possible. The main goal would be to keep your mother as safe and content as possible under unfortunate circumstances.
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She is in stage 2 dementia but my sister is fine with her going to Texas...is it easy to get guardianship in Texas or will my mother have to go through competency testing all over again?
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Guardianship123, what does your wife think about leaving her employment and taking care of your mother? Does she realize how difficult this will be physically, emotionally, and financially?

Please check out these excellent articles about Dementia/Alzheimer's to help give you an idea of what the future will be like, mainly for your wife. Go to the blue bar near the top of the page, click on SENIOR LIVING, now click on Alzheimer's CARE, now scroll down to the articles.
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you want your wife to give up her life?? Sorry.... Not fair......and that's what will happen. Unless 1 of you have done it before and already know what your in for, you'll be in for a ROUGH road ahead. Think long and hard.Read the stories here. Caretaking is NOT like the commercials where everyone is happy happy. Be prepared for yours and your wives WHOLE life to be consumed by mom. its not a picnic. It has ruined many relationships ( siblings and marriages ).
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I'm with Golflady on this one. Think about this very carefully before committing to this plan. I mean no disrespect but you may be a bit naive about what this move would involve.
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Why is your mom in Memory Care? Are her symptoms that advanced? Moving her will almost certainly cause a sharp decline.

I would talk with her physician about how much longer care at home (with LOTS of home health care help coming in) is going to be feasible. Are you (and your wife) really up for doubke incontinence?
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Guardianship123, you had also asked if your Mother could pay your wife to be her Caregiver.... yes, and one doesn't need Guardianship in order for that to happen.... just make sure that your Mother and your wife draw up an employment contract.

You will also need to make your home elder proof. Is there a bedroom and bath on the main floor? Are there grab bars in the tub/shower and at the toilet? Are the hallways and doorway wide enough for a walker or wheelchair? If you have thick carpeting and padding, that would need to be replaced as it is difficult to walk with a walker on such carpeting. Please note, falls will happen. Are there steps up to the front door or from the garage, if so, a ramp might be needed. The list goes on and on.

Please note that 40% of caregivers die leaving behind the person they were caring. Those are terrible odds. What if something happens to your wife? Would you be willing to quit your job and be your Mother's full-time 168 hour a week caregiver?
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Just an FYI I am not asking my wife to give up her job she is the willing one that brought it up and is thinking of doing this....it is a family decision to make and is not based on 1 sole person it is a family thought and decision process
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I'm trying to ask this in a positive, constructive way: does your wife really know what she's letting herself in for? Does she have any experience of caring for a person with dementia? Given the distances, have you both been able to spend time with your mother recently, with a chance to appreciate what her needs are day in, day out?

I'm in favour of home care, it isn't that I disapprove. My major reservation about this move is that you need to look on it as irreversible; but then what happens if you find that it isn't working? You can't just wrap your mother up and post her back to Vermont (? is that right? - I'm not good on states). Do you have a memory care facility near you if it proves impossible to manage at home?

I'm sorry to be negative, but it sounds pretty fraught unless you've got expertise to draw on as well as enthusiasm. Let us know how you're getting on, anyway.
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We just moved here so yes have spent lots of time with her and we know what it will entail....we are taking our time making the right decision for her and U.S. As a family. It is just hard to see her go through this. She has always been feisty. No worries all thinking caps are on!
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By the way, in case FF misunderstood your question and what you were asking is if your wife can get paid to be your mother's caregiver by someone OTHER than your mother (also a frequent question on this site), that will mean that you will have to go through Medicaid for your state and that is a long and tedious qualification process. The guardianship will have to go through courts to be changed from your sister to you and that will cost money also. With guardianship you will have reports that you will have to make to various agencies through the state on your mother's care and her expenditures.
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I applaud you Guardianship123. It's not always an awful burden having a parent living with you in their senior years. If you are financially stable, mentally stable and understand what it will entail go for it. My father lives with me and my family. He is blind. It worked out for us and we wouldn't change a thing.
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Now I'm totally confused. Stage 2 dementia on the traditional 7-stage system is mild cognitive impairment. This is a very early stage, so your mother should still be competent and showing only mild symptoms. I wouldn't expect anyone in stage 2 to be in memory care.
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... or require guardianship unless something else is causing incompetence.
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I read a bit into this. The guardianship procedure in TX seems to be straightforward as long as it isn't contested. It will be expensive, but that is to be expected. Will your sister resign as guardian in VT, since often states will recognize guardianships from other states.

Good luck on getting these things done. I know your original question was if the procedure was easy. Guardianship is never really easy or inexpensive, since it does have to go through the courts. Your mother should have the letters and transcripts from her previous competency and guardianship review. I hope the TX courts will accept those. It will make it easier on you.
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Thanks for the response!
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Active guardianship implies serious incapacity. You might want to investigate the obligations of guardianship before you claim that responsibility. What specifically about life in your family will cause Mom to thrive versus her current location? Changing 'homes' is very hard on the elderly with dementia and should be minimized. What are her complaints about her current living circumstances and has a good effort been put forth to remedy those complaints? Just a few thoughts before you claim the job.
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Guardianship123, thank you with giving us more information, that helps us in answering your questions.

As others have asked, what are your Mom's other medical issues that she would need to have been in a nursing home. Or were you using the words "nursing home" as a generic term?
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I'm confused. Your mother is not thriving in a memory care unit of a nursing home. She has stage 2 dementia.

These two pieces of information don't go together.

Does your home have other serious illnesses that require skilled nursing care? Cancer? COPD? What?

The usual reasons for placing a nursing home resident in the memory care unit are wandering or very disruptive behavior or behavior that requires addition attention to direct. Does one of those reasons apply to your mother?

How long has your mother been where she now resides?

Living with family can be very successful. And it can be very disastrous. It would help know the medical background a little better to discuss this.
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I agree with Jeanne, nothing adds up here. Stage 2 Dementia neither equals memory care nor incompetence. So proceed with caution.

1. Either her dementia is much more advanced than you are being told or

2. Mom is barely into the disease and no wonder she's not thriving in memory care!

The real question is to clarify mom's needs (not necessarily her desires) before you commit to moving her. I think you may need to do some detective work with her doctors. One possible scenario is that mom had a stroke or serious injury, was incompetent temporarily but is now substantially recovered.

Proceed with caution.
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Guardianship123, You would have to challenge the existing Guardian in court in Vermont and request a move to Texas. I have to forewarn you that in the past, people have moved the parent long distances only to find that the patient becomes totally disoriented and agitated. Judges are well aware of this problem. In addition, if mom is on Medicaid in VT, that ends as soon as she leaves VT. Texas Medicaid, aka DADS, has long waiting lists. Transport is also a problem- you cannot put her on a plane. Driving her is risky at best and could easily end up at an ER somewhere in between, with no coverage.
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I have the info I need so thank you yes she is disruptive and doesn't want to be there so she escaped but thanks I have all the info I need
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G123 - so mom is "disruptive & has escaped". So there is a reason why she is in memory care & Sissy got Guardianship! Do you really think moving her to live with you with your wife as her caregiver in your home makes sense?

Please reread Pam's post. TX has one of the lowest reinbursement rates for medicaid services. So if she is needing medicaid to pay, the options may not be as nice or comprehensive in care as VT whether its services at a clinic or doctors office or in a facility. Really get out there and find out the costs on memory units and what they require for admission & open bed probability as well as find docs who are taking new psych patients for those living at home.

Realize that just being family does not automatically mean you will get guardianship. What often happens for TX probate court where guardianships are heard, is that the judge will appoint an temporary outside court appointed guardian (usually for these situations of 1 state legal to another state legal will be an atty) when there is a bridging of guardianship from 1 state to another. And this person will determine the living situation. Not you or your mom. TX has a pretty established vetted guardianship system for the judge to use too.

So your mom is disruptive & has escaped a facility......well I'd bet that any review of her charts is going to show she has to be in a locked down memory care facility with trained staff for her own safety. For TX, it's going to be private pay to find this as Medicaid funding will be first & foremost in a traditional NH & internal medicine guys.

For a comprehensive gerontology practice who take Medicaid, those are probably going to be within UTHSC or @ TMC as gerontology is part of the medical school and teaching hospital system for these. My mom was in one at UTHSC -SA and the waiting list for initial appointment was 6 mos. My mom got a speed pass as her orthopedic surgeon was faculty and he required a gerontology sign off on her surgical clearance before he did her BCBS paid rotor cuff repair surgery, so mom got in & stayed a Geri clinic patient. And this was over a decade ago.

Really do your homework before you take her out of her memory care.
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I'm not sure that she will see any difference between being in a facility and being in a "new to her" home. Use because she's with "family" may not make a difference. Just something to consider.
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Igloo572 as you say "sissy" got guardianship because she is in Vt ....please don't be so quick to judge.......we are intellectual people looking at the whole picture and that's why we haven't jumped on the situation..... It is a family decision that will be made with all brothers and sisters involved and we will all decide what's best for mom, as well as her health care professionals.....
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G123 - my comment has nothing to do with the state of VT. Guardianship is a pretty definite & significant legal process, whether in Alabama or Wyoming. For most, we are able to do for our parents or elders with a well written DPOA & MPOA. To have to have gone the guardianship route, with it's time, vetting, costs, required court hearings & reporting, usually means there are significant issues that required the force of law to do things for them that a guardianship provides.

So what was the backstory as to why Sissy was appointed? Mental health issues....or was APS involved....or other endangerment concerns? What happened that made guardianship required?

Realize that judges do NOT have to appoint family as the guardian. It is not "a family decision", it is a judges decision on guardianship. In my experience, judges prefer to name family as guardian but will appoint a temporary outside court appointed guardian if there is any concerns on their part. A judge doesn't want to hear "we'll decide what best for mom" coming from family in their courtroom.
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Igloo572 as I stated before I have all the info I need I have been in contact with the correct people thank you...
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I think you need to consider - before initiating any step to challenge your sister's guardianship - what are you expecting, hoping if she were to stay with you when you state she's not thriving in her current living situation. The disease process of dementia isn't pretty. Was there a change in medication recently that could be contributing to her not really enjoying herself, so to speak? Or maybe she needs a different type, different combination of medication? Before making some big decisions, I think you should find out if there is a way for you to communicate directly with the memory care team/liaison so you get a sense of what's truly going on; you may need to consult a local legal team to find out what are your options, if any. You shouldn't be limited to just speaking to your sister about Mom. I'm not implying that your sister is a bad person, it's just that if you're really wanting to take on the enormous responsibility and legal fight to move your mother, then you need a reality check of the situation, first, from the people that are doing the one-on-care. And you also need to consider the care for her in her normal aging process, for example, if she were to lose her mobility, is your home equipped for this? We all want what's best for our parents, elders, but don't jump into the big legal fight until you get the full scoop of your Mom's current living situation.
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I forgot to state: Before you and your wife even consider taking on the legal battle with your sister - the two of you should fly out and visit your mother in the unit and talk to staff - and visit with your mother more than one time, like spend up to a week or two if necessary. This will give you a full dose of where she's at now. Consult with a local legal team to see if this can be done.
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As stated thank you all and there is NO legal battle we have consulted with an attorney and the process is not hard everything is in place if it is the direction we choose.......yes we have spent lots of time with her and her one on one daily care so we know everything that is going on so thanks everyone for the input.
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