My mother needs to go into an old folks home but only has her Social Security.

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What steps do I need to begin to take to find her a home? My mother will need to go into an old folks home, as I see her continuing to deteriorate mentally. Most likely in the next 2 -3 years. She has dementia and other mental health issues and the abuse that comes along with it that I simply cannot manage. She is 70. She does not have a social worker (we live in a rural part of Tennessee so that has its own unique challenges) and only has her social security. She won't give me power of attorney, medical power attorney or the like. While she is very nasty and aggressive, I still want to ensure that she has a safe comfortable place to live. I do not have the funds to support her. She lives with us now, but as her dementia and other mental health issues escalate to violent outbursts, its clear she will need to go somewhere. In state, out of state whatever my options might be. Can anyone tell me what steps I need to take to find her a decent place on her very limited income? She is not going to go peacefully, so its something that I am assuming responsibility for.

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I wouldn't wait 2-3 years. From your description, your mother's oppositional attitude is not a new development, is that so? And in addition, besides what is right for you and your family, your mother will do better in any long term care facility if she moves into it sooner rather than later. Best of luck, please let us know what response you get from your local services.
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abusedbymom, I know this will sound unusual but has your Mom been tested for a urinary tract infection? Such an infection in an older person will mimic dementia and outbursts. With antibiotics such an infection can be cleared.
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If you want someone else to be appointed by the courts to be responsible for her (make decisions for health and financial) and believe that she is incompetent of taking care of herself, you might consider filing a petition with the courts for Guardianship. If you aren't able or willing to do it, they can appoint professionals who do this kind if thing. They would have her assessed and proceed accordingly. Depending on her qualifications, need and her income, she might qualify for Medicaid, which pays for long term care in certain circumstances. She does have Medicare medical, right?

Also, your department of social services might offer some suggestions as well as her doctor. Each county should offer some kind of information. If not, check with your state office on aging.

There are multiple types of facilities now days. They have traditionally been called old folks homes. There are multiple places available depending on the patient, such as psychiatric hospitals, Memory Care Assisted Living, group homes, nursing homes, etc. Perhaps, a proper assessment could indicate what type of setting your mother might need.
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If she gets physically violent, the next time she does, call the police. The might be able to Baker Act her. If that happens and when they try to release her in to your care, tell them that you are not taking her. Have Social Services place her and apply for Medicaid.
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