Mother living in assisted living apartment. AL wants me to sign her up for hospice care to help avoid MC and another trip to the hospital. Advice?

Hugs to you. I think it is a common feeling, the death warrant moment, but I also think it comes not from bringing in hospice, exactly, so much as from just having had to look the whole idea of your loved one's dying squarely in the face and talk about it.

Hospice is not the end. It is not even an irreversible decision. It is the right choice for people when quality of life outweighs considerations like chances of survival when you're making medical choices.

It seems clear to me as an outsider that you are respecting your mother's wishes and putting her comfort first. Of course, I know nothing about her medical history; have you also talked that through with your mother's lead physician? Are you happy that what to expect has been properly explained?

I would explore if she can have Hospice in the AL or MC. My LO is on Hospice in MC and it's so helpful. I actually think my LO is a little better since going on Hospice. Of course, in MC she already gets a lot of specialized care. Plus, they have Bingo too, if she is able to play, but, my LO is unable to do anything like that. But, the Hospice workers come to bathe and change her most days of the week, with weekly nurse visit and other care. There are more eyes on her and anything she needs is there pretty quick.

Repeated ER visits that scared my LO and that were counterproductive, plus decline in her condition, prompted her doctor to suggest Hospice. She remains on any meds that make her feel more comfortable. Of course, cholesterol meds were discontinued. It's a personal decision, but, it sounds like your mother has told you what she wants and does not want.

The hardest thing to come to terms with is that hospice only takes on patients that have no hope of survival. That doesn't mean that they don't get it wrong at times and people get better and move out of hospice care, but it means that modern medicine really has no more to offer and there is no cure for what ails them.

You are not signing a death warrant, your mom has said enough is enough, I don't want to do this crazy cycle anymore, sick near death, er, hospitalization, get better but completely sucked dry, go home, get sick near death, er....ad nauseam. You are so blessed that she is able to tell you how she feels about it all.

Now, you love her the best way you can, you share happy memories, laughter and ice cream, say goodbye and let her say goodbye and cherish every moment you get. I think that is a blessing that to few get.

Hugs, it is hard, but can be beautiful that's where you get to shine for her.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. As an outsider, I am thinking how wonderful it is for your mother that she is able to express her wishes and that she has you to advocate for her.

Mom could live past 6 months. Hospice will continue as long as she shows no improvement. Make sure you understand what Hospice is. Some of her meds may stop. Morphine will be given for comfort and ease of breathing. No life saving measures will be given.