AnnQuaTam3 Asked November 2019
My mother is 85 lives with my 66yr old sister. She sleeps all day only to get up to use bathroom. Could it be she's accepted death?
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She only gets up when my sister assists her to use the bathroom or she wets bed. I suggested a nursing home but no-one wants to hear that. My mother is eating a few bites here & there. She still recognizes us, but shows signs of dementia & has lost about 40lbs looking like a skeleton. Doctors can't find anything wrong with her but when I look into her eyes it's a gray haze of nothingness. Could it be she's accepted death cause she always tells us it's going to be ok & this breaks my heart.
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Acedia.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acedia
I was listening to an interview with David Brooks called “Second Mountain”. This word came up. As it relates to your mom, it might not at all, but many elders seem to have an acedia like state as they basically stop living long before they die. I thought you might find it interesting.
You could call in different doctors and subject her to tests but it sounds like she has accepted her impending death. This is the time you need to summon all the strength you have within you. Help your sister care for your mother. Spend as much time as you can with them. You’ll never regret it. Come back here as often as you need to.