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Chimonger: Many of the things you said make sense, however, your are assuming that Stick's mom did not contribute financially to her home. I think we need to understand that situation before we can make recommendations.
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Has your Mom always idolized your alcoholic brother? [that would indicate she is co-dependant]
Has your Mom always treated you poorly [dysfunctional parent],
or has that more recently started since she started living in your house? [dementia]
If you supply more than half your Mom's support [money, housing, bills, etc.], you can at least claim her as a dependant for IRS taxes, and possibly for State, which can help alleviate some pressure [but not the emotional damage].
If you are sole caregiver, it is possible in some areas, for you to get named the caregiver, and get paid to do it by the State, which might help financially.

You stated you started hiding in your room to avoid contact with her.
That is a strong sign you are reacting to abusive behaviors she is perpetrating on you!
Document that, EVERY TIME, every statement she makes nasty at you.
If there is physical abuse, call 911, every time, to file a police report.
You do NOT have to hide in your own home, and pay for it.
There are other housing options for your Mom.
If she is destitute, the State can help...
AND, although many States have started going after Estate Recovery from the person who had care in their systems, they cannot go after family for money recovery if it means it would cause you to become destitute.
Anything like that can be contested.

Her words may hurt and cut your Spirit to the quick, but she is likely just doing a very poor job of expressing her own fear and anger at losing her own home, losing her autonomy, and being beholden to you for shelter, food, etc.
It is a terrible sense of loss that, the older people get, the harder it is for them to describe what they are feeling, so they lash out at their caregivers.
But that does not help a caregiver undo the emotional hurting the demented person has caused--those are deep wounds such as only a loved one can deliver!
OTH, if she believes your brother is such a saint, what about her going to live with him?
Get her out of your home to give you a break, allow you to get a life back!
Having her move elsewhere, whether to a facility or to your brother's place, will likley make her dementia worse, fast.
Be prepared for that.
But you absolutely need to get her out of your house, before you become completely unable to cope with breathing!
{{{hugs!}}}
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Does your Mom see a physician regularly? My first piece of advice is to tell her doctor what is going on. Something physical (dementia or alzheimer's) or psychological may be going on. Medication may help her, but won't help you much. I mention Alzheimer's because they tend to turn on those who are closest to them, and treat those they formerly disliked as their best friend. It happened with my Grandma (Alzheimer's victim), Mom, and me. For you, check with Social Services in your area to find income based senior living apartments or assisted living facilities. You can keep your sanity, and your mother can make friends and have activities to give her social outlets. Independence is a hard thing to lose. She 'needs' you now and probably does not like it at all, where your brother still 'needs' her. When she has her own home again, it will probably quell some of the anger at towards you. Don't let guilt and/or manipulation from her stand in your way of reclaiming your home and taking control of your life back. You only get one, you know. She has had a long one, and in her right mind she would want you to have a happy, independent one.
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Stick: I'm clairvoyant, you are about 43 years old. Duh.
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Stick: What does your mom pay towards the living expenses? How long has she lived with you? Did she give you money for a down payment on your home?

I'm just trying to understand why you pay all the bills. Plus your brother lived with you for a while also. Did he contribute to expenses when he lived with you?

Are you tied to your mom somehow with the ownership of the house. If not, then I think it might be wise to consider a new arrangement. It is your home.

Give us some more information so we can better understand. May I ask how old you are?

Sincere wishes, Cattails.
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