My mother knows who everyone is except me. What is going on? - AgingCare.com

My mother knows who everyone is except me. What is going on?

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She thinks I am her dead sister June. Another girl with my name and finally her daughter. She thinks wrongly that I go out all night and come back in the morning. I get up with her at night and she knows I an there but then she says that June and I are taking turns leaving all night. I try to explain that June is dead and she knows that but thinks she back and sees her. I can't use logic to convince her I am not sneaking out at night. Not that it matters what she thinks. But she has angry outbursts and says all kind of untrue things. Sometimes she tells neighbors how I sneak off at night to have sex . I am 68 years old and I try to explain I really don't have to sneak around to have sex. I dont know why she can't see I an one 68 year old person. When she thinks I am my aunt she thinks I am 5 years older then her making me 89 years old. Is she just messing with my mind or what??,,

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confused49, your Mom has Alzheimer's/Dementia as you had posted on your profile. You need to realize that your Mom's brain is broken, thus she is not thinking correctly. Elders with such conditions like to make up stories to get attention, that comes with the disease. Telling Mom she is wrong will not work, it will only make Mom more angry and frustrated. You both will be going around in circles.

To your Mom, you will always be her child. My parents who had very mild dementia never could realize that I was also a senior citizen. They thought I was still that 20 or 30 year old who could do anything. Waving my Medicare card and AAPR membership didn't even sink in.... [sigh].

As Sunny mentioned above, learn about this disease. Go to the bottom of this page to the blue section.... click on ALZHEIMER'S CARE.... and start reading all the excellent articles. These articles will give you more of an understanding what is going on.

I agree with Barb above, it is time for your Mom to have a higher level of care then us mere mortals can supply. She needs highly skilled care, as this is only going to get much worse. Sign your Mom up for Medicaid [which is different from Medicare] as Medicaid has a program where Mom can live in a nursing home and Medicaid will pay for everything she needs.  Do it ASAP before changes might be made to Medicaid, hopefully Mom can be "grandfathered" in place. 
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Your mom has been diagnosed with dementia?

In an elder home, or Assisted Living, your mom would have medication management, predictable routines and socialization.

It might be better for her than where she is now. Think about that.
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The doctors tested for uti and it is not that. They suggested a elderly hone but I don't want that she is confused enough
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Have you discussed your mom's condition and symptoms with her doctor? I'd do that, so he can rule out a UTI or some other aliment. But, if it's the dementia that is causing her to not recognize you, then, I'd read a lot about dementia and how things like that are not uncommon. You can go online and read about dementia, Alzheimers, Vascular dementia, delusions, etc. (whatever condition your mother has that is causing her dementia). There are helpful videos on You tube by Teepa Snow on dementia. I think they are useful. You can also have your mom evaluated by a geriatric psychiatrist.

What I would keep in mind is that trying to convince your mother that she is misinformed and wrong about things, isn't likely to work and it might cause her more distress if you do this. I'd discuss it with her doctor or psychiatrist to get a plan in place. That way, you'll know up front what to say to her.
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I took my 401 k and built a two bedroom house in front of her trailer. Now she think someone is sneaking in at night living in her trailer . Eating her food and using her electric. She is accusing the kids next door of beating her dog. The dog is perfectly healthy. She say someone is living in the woods across the street. on and on.. I think I am going to go crazy. Sometimes she talks to people that come up to the house and they believe her as she can sound sane to them.
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Another thing is one time she says she loves me and not to leave her as she needs me. The next time she hates me and wants to leave herself. She says I am  purposely trying to confuse her. i am feeling confused myself. It is like a roller coaster of emotions. I am an only child with no break as she is like a hermit. She does not like anyone that comes to visit. Only wants it to be me and her. With her getting angry and wanting to leave 
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