My mother is severely depressed and refuses to take medications, and refuses to hear the words anti-depressant or depression. What can I do?

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She does not bathe, leave the bed at all, is not eating hardly anything.

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Honestly I don't believe she wants to die, I just think her mind isn't capable of understanding that she is dying . At this point we probably just have to try to reach her or hope she gets more comatose like last time then she won't really know we are giving her the meds..
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Reply to wshery246
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I did get the Dr to change her meds back in Nov. but she refused to take them even though she agreed. She is very pissed if you suggest the meds, and she also knows what meds she is taking so if she refuses my dad just gives in . My dad is one of those guys that just goes with the flow and will not say no to her.. I have hired a friend to help try and get her to shower but she has refused now for 3wks.. I think she unfortunately needs to go into a nursing home, My dad and I are the power of Attorney for health care not sure we are able to use it since she is still voicing her opinions. She has also refused all Dr appts. There is no reason why this women should still be alive, she has a pacemaker/defibrilator, 25% of her heart working, down to like probably 80lbs at this point she looks very anorexic. Last time she was at 90lbs when we put her into hospice.. Not really sure what her reason for being alive is.. She seems to be mean to me because I am the only one who talks about reality with her and believe me she voice's her opinon very well on that stuff. hoping the Dept of Aging will offer some advice
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Wshery, I'm sorry for your lost. We lost my sil Aug, 2017 and my Mom lost it. I know how sad it is to stand helplessly by and watch them fall apart.

You said the Dr changed her meds. Any chance you can call him and ask for the better meds back? Do you know why he changed it?

A UTI could be in the mix too, from lack of cleanliness. My Mom had a raging one
with no symptoms.

Do you live close enough to give her her meds daily for awhile?

I like CM's suggestion of a visiting caregiver once a day for meds.

My Mom had no choice but to get her butt in my car and live with me, she was dying. If she didn't walk, I would have carried her out kicking and screaming.

I know that's not any help to you. If anything, I'm just saying I Know the desperate feeling seeing them like this causes.

Without any authority over her, seems your hands may be tied. I would reach out to her Dr for options.

Good luck with this, hopefully someone else has something better to suggest. Big huggz
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Reply to Pepsee
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Gosh, your poor father.

What about a visiting nurse? Someone in a uniform to come in once a day and stand over her, hands on hips, until the meds have gone down (with a spoonful of sugar, if need be, too). Take the pressure off your Dad until they've had a chance to kick in, I was thinking.

The loss of your sister must have hit everybody very hard, I'm so sorry. Are you taking care of you, too?
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She is 77yrs old, we went through this about 4yrs ago ended up putting her in hospice care , she was comatose finally talked them into giving her anti depressants and she got better was cleaning walking eating went home, Participated in life.. My sister died of cancer in Sept of 17 and I knew a head of time my mom was gonna be bad tried to convince a Dr to increase dosage, instead he changed the meds completely she did not liek the way they made her feel so by Aug of 17 she had quit taking the meds.. We have a meeting tomorrow with Aging dept. She still has her brain (sorta) at this point so trying to talk to her about this just sends her into this swearing sailor (the F word) which my mom does not swear.. She is at home my poor dad who is 80 has to deal with it most of the time. She will not leave the bed, does not watch TV barely holds a conversation , she is not comatose like last time but about a step away. Last time we had her funeral planned. She did start taking her meds but my Dad is suppose to give them to her and he is not good about it..
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Reply to wshery246
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It's difficult to know what to suggest without understanding a little more about the background to your mother's current state.

How old is she?
What is her state of health?
What are her general care and support needs?
Does she live with you, or alone?
How long has what you describe been going on? Was it a sudden change in her, or has it been coming on gradually? Any relevant events in her life?

Anything you feel like sharing would be helpful. I'm sorry for how painful and worrying this must be for you.
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Reply to Countrymouse
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You could call your local Adult Protective Services. Is she living alone or with you? Are you here agent for healthcare?
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Reply to Val3rie
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Does she have a long history of depression?
Is she suicidal or threaten it?
How old is your mother?
Does she have dementia also?
Is there any way you can get her to her doctor?
Would she respond to bathing or getting out of bed with any other family member or maybe a caregiver?
Do you know what is causing her depression (cancer, a loved one dying, etc.)?

More info would be helpful.
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