My mother will be 96 in November. Has dementia, but doing pretty good at this time. Today.
I am her daughter, I am her 24/7/365 caregiver. For the last 7 1/2 years. I know her reactions and can pretty much predict how she will react to certain things.
She has had cataract surgery in her right eye, and sees pretty well in that eye. Her left eye is a mess. Doctor diagnosed her with Macular Degeneration in her left eye. The only thing keeping her from going blind in that eye are shots, every 4 weeks in her eye. They are very painful for her and the last one pretty much traumatized her. It was very rough on her for over a week. She really can not see much. If I’m within a couple feet of her, she can tell that Someone is standing in front of her. I held my fingers up to see if she could distinguish how many. I had to get within about 5” from her face before she could see how many.
She will definitely go blind in that eye within time. She needed extended time after one of the last shots. She didn’t go back for 6 weeks. There was significantly more damage in that 2 extra weeks without the shot. Doctor explained it as a field of weeds. The shot is like what weed killer does to weeds. If weed killer is not applied the weeds grow rapidly and take over.
She will definitely go blind in that eye.
My question is, she is not wanting anymore shots. I have told her she will be blind in that eye.
She doesn’t want to go blind in that eye.
The dilemma is, she has NO reasoning skills. Says one thing then later she says she changed her mind. And will tell you that she never said it in the first place! Should I just let her go blind? She is adamant that she does not want anymore shots in that eye. Her health has been somewhat slowly failing and does not get around like she did 6 months ago. I feel guilty that she will not be able to see anything out of that eye, but I don’t want her in pain like she was the last time she had one.
With this dementia, like I stated, she has NO reasoning skills. She has a very hard time making any decisions, if she makes them at all. There is a good possibility that she will not remember making the decision to quit the shots, and when she does go blind, she will say it is my fault and how could I let them do this to her. If I have her write down her preference as proof, she will tell me “ she changed her mind”
OPINIONS PLEASE???
My aunt had MD and also complained of the pain, but she had a basically cheerful nature, even with MD and dementia. I don't know if I could ever be philosophical in a similar situation.
What I have done, even though there's never been any discussion or raising of the issue by my then ophthalmologist or retinal specialist (recommended by an aggressively treating ophthalmologist before I could get cataract surgery), I have collected data on the state commission for the blind, have a Braille card, and one of these days will start to learn Braille. I've found that if I take specific precautions, the potential even doesn't happen. Somehow, life just seems to work that way for me.
With one eye that has vision
With the dementia.
I would discontinue shots. (Actually I would probably discontinue almost any "invasive" treatment.)
If she asks just tell her that the doctor said the shots were no longer working. That way it is not "your fault". Even at that if she does say that don't argue with her, it is not worth the effort to argue with a person that has dementia.
This is very common for people in this age group. If I were you I would stop the shots. If she says it's your fault just say okay and change the subject. If your Mom talks about not being able to see just explain to her she has a disease in her eyes. End of story. Don't let her trap you into feeling guilty and please stop worrying.
Your Mom (like mine) has lived a long life and as they get older they start falling apart.
Good luck to you and your Mom,
Jenna
My mom has bad MD in both eyes for a good 15 years or so and had all the shots. (They shouldn't be painful at all, so the doctor's not doing something right, or she's overreacting.)
The best the shots can do is slow down the progression of the disease, not fix it. My mom's eyes finally plateaued on their own after several years of getting progressively worse every year and having the shots, but now that she has bad dementia, I have no real idea what she can or can't see and she can't tell me.
At this point your mom is blind in that eye for all intents and purposes. Her vision is badly distorted and her central vision is gone. I'd just stop harassing her about the shots now and quit trying to prove to a dementia patient that she said something or not.