I am so angry that people and govt don't call it what it is...3 months of quarantine! Facility bound by state laws. But they should start figuring out ways to reopen. The isolation is maddening. She says she would rather risk getting COVID than live her life like this. If I took her in it would ruin my marriage. It's maddening and heartbreaking for her and so many others. Isn't anyone listening? No mention of this crisis in AARP. Crazy!
What good is life if you're dying mentally in anguish, despair and hopelessness.
Thanks for all your responses. Best wishes to you and yours.
That said, my friends have told me that a few of their relatives passed away from either a heart attack, stroke, etc. and they are putting down Covid-19 on the death certificate, really? To boost the numbers to create more fear? Fear is the best way to manipulate people IMHO.
I wonder what is really going on behind the scenes? In my 63 years I don't remember any lock-downs.
Mental health is just as important if not more important then physical health. People have killed themselves over this virus from being isolated.
I find something very wrong with this picture.
Jenna
I understand everyone’s frustrations re the restrictions but somehow feel many would not be happy with either result.
While I understand those seniors are bored and isolated, what’s the option? It is what it is. The centers don’t have the staff to provide enough activities to keep your loved ones busy to prevent boredom. The centers are doing all they can to take care of everyone. Most have TV’s to watch to pass the time. Use the tools you already have but to expect more at this point is unrealistic.
It is hard for me to understand people’s complaints about this. Whatever kind of facility they are in are providing three meals a day, hygiene, etc on a daily basis. That is way more advantageous than others who can’t feed their family because they got laid off or whatever.
All of us are making sacrifices. While I understand everyone’s concern about dementia getting worse b/o “isolation”would you prefer they got the virus and had to be on a ventilator for 2 weeks and then die? Your parents say they would rather get Covid 19 over being in isolation for 90+ days? And that’s ok? That’s foolish. And to feed into that is just wrong.
Address your concerns with the CDC who is recommending these precautions. Staff can’t wave a magic wand and make it go away. Nor can they not follow recommenced guidelines.
To me it’s a small price to pay to try to ensure residents and the staff are protected. Give them a break! This Virus is all new and evolving.
I am sure I am touching someone’s nerve here but it’s how I feel. Make the best of what is currently in place and deal with it. Or take them home with you. Asking for ideas to help the elderly is fine, but most of the time having dementia those residents won’t even remember the efforts. And those old enough to remember WW2 are a lot more used to making sacrifices than we are.
I also realize many come here to vent and I get it. But geez Louise your loved ones are still alive! You and they will have to work through it.
There's a difference between merely existing and having a life.
This is not how we should be treating our elderly. They are lonely and depressed
I also want to praise the workers in my parents facilities, I could not do your job, and thank you for all your doing trying to keep our parents safe. This covid thing is devastating in so many ways.
Both of my parents have said they would rather have Covid than what they’ve been through in the last 3 1/2 months!
The 2nd choice is to stay home and stop complaining that the state is not opening up. You can see the states that have not had a hard shut down and you won't like that result either.
The 3rd choice is to bring your LO to your house for the duration. Which could be a year since there is no vaccine and people in elder care facilities are likely to be low on the priority list.
My mother is in a facility. We did get to see her once in May but in our case, she really does not care if she sees us or not. My MIL died in October and we had been supervising FIL's care at local memory care. So we had not seen him for 3 months. He developed a UTI, went to hospital, and was really failing; not eating, very low blood count. Got him out of the hospital, back on hospice and he died at the MC 9 days later, all without us seeing him. Covid was not a factor in his death. Since he died, his facility, which had no cases until mid-May, has had 9 cases with 2 deaths.
Just saying that I do have family we cannot visit. The virus has caused life to change and I think a lot of that change will be permanent. But the other options of not sheltering at home, are options that I don't want to consider. Your mother might say she would rather die of Covid, but is that really true?
Yes residents are isolated from the outside world, but, at least in my Moms case, staff is doing a fantastic job with supporting and engaging the residents. Some residents are managing better than others but as Dogparkmomma said "... how much of the anguish, despair and hopelessness was pre-existing." My Mom was miserable and angry AND feeble before this all happened. Is she declining? Yes, but this lockdown has little to do with it, her decline was inevitable.
If they relaxed the guidelines chances those facilities would become infected with covid and that would insure massive loss of life. This virus kills the elderly. In our state nearly half the covid deaths were people in elder care facilities.
There are no good choices here but there are some choices worse than others. I would rather have my Mom kept safe from this virus. From what I hear covid is a terrible way to die.