My mother is coming home now what? - AgingCare.com

My mother is coming home now what?

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After 2 months in a NCF my mother is coming home. I'm somewhat happy but at the same time I don't want to deal with it. She is not that bad off except for mobility issues and a little foregetfulness. She begged me to come home and just for peace it's going to happen. She wants to sell her home and move close by. She told me this in the NCF and I don't believe her. I'm thinking once she goes home everything will change and she will want to remain. I don't want to fight with her she has stressed me out so much with her demanding ways. I don't want the responsibility of trying to keep up with her house. It's big and needs some repairs. It felt good not to run up and down for two months for her.
She needs supervision because she is a fall risk. I cannot get 24 hr supervision and cannot move her in. My house is full. I have to put everything in God's hands for the rest of things I cannot do. I don't think she is a candidate for assisted living. Any suggestions?

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Can she not afford assisted living? If so, there are independent living facilities out there. My FIL lived in one of those for almost a year before being moved to assisted living. If she needs help with some things, you can usually get medicare to pay for some home visits. It was not too expensive, and the neat thing was that there was always someone around. They keep track of their residents and call if anything seems amiss. I would bring your Mom around to visit some of them and see what she thinks. They serve three meals a day in a really nice dining hall, and clean the room once a week. Everything is handicap accessible. They have planned activities and lots of social interaction. While my FIL didn't last there too long, as he needed more help, it was a safe place for the time he was there, and we were very thankful for it. I did have to do his laundry, but the facility took care of changing the bedding once a week.
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We took care of my mother-in-law at her home, then moved her in with us, then moved her to assisted living over a six year period. I love my mother-in-law, but moving her into AL was a godsend. Granted - it was still frustrating at times, but not near as frustrating as taking care of her house, medical appointments, medicine, grocery shopping, etc. And we didn't have frustrations EVERY day and worried less about her falling or injuring herself or not eating as we knew she was getting taken care of. She received 24 hour care and wore a necklace monitor that all she had to do is push the button on it if she wanted any help of any kind. Your mom most certainly sounds like a candidate for Assisted Living (AL), but understand that AL is fairly expensive. Can your mother afford it? If so, I definitely would check into it. Each facility offers different options/care so check out a couple to see what fits best for you and your mom. But if you don't believe her and she balks after she gets out - I would cut back on helping her until she concedes. Just my opinion. And putting it in God's hand is the best place to be - Good luck!!
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Why would she not be a candidate for assisted living, there are levels of care available at most of them?
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