Follow
Share

When she wipes herself she pushes fecal matter into her urethra, which causes yet another bladder infection. She gets it on her hands and just wipes it off on anything on top of the dryer. Then she says 'see my hands are clean'. Sometimes she gets it all over the toilet seat and if I'm not there will attempt to wipe most of it off with dry t.p. Anyway long story short, I've concluded that I have to be in the room with her when she uses the bathroom and I wipe and clean her backside while she holds onto the grab bar, then she wipes the front, but I put a cloth over her anus so she won't touch it. Sorry I know this is graphic... and she's really angry at me. We only have one bathroom and I can't have smeared feces all over the place, I just can't deal with the thought of it, plus I'm trying to stop new bladder infections from starting. What else can I do?? Any thoughts?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing

4 Answers

Most
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
With the detail you provided, it sounds like you have this situation as good as it could ever be. Well done.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
I had this same issue. After my mother's last fall, she could no longer walk or get herself on or off a toilet (or anything else for that matter). It takes me and my husband working together to get her on and off and cleaned up. At first, I let her wipe herself but then, early on, she got fecal matter on her hands that then got transferred to my husband's shirt and the bathroom wall as he moved her from the toilet to her wheelchair. That was the end of that. The toilet paper is no longer kept within her reach. Now, I glove-up and do all the cleaning while he is holding her in a standing position. She hates having to be helped in the bathroom and always asks for toilet paper but I simply tell her that I have to do all the clean up because I have to put medicine on her skin back there. That IS kind of true because I DO put a barrier cream and an anti-fungal powder on her at the very end. She is 92 and has dementia. She still asks for toilet paper every single time she goes (and she still gets angry once in awhile when I won't give it to her) but reminding her that I have to do the clean-up because I have to apply medicine for her skin seems to appease her the majority of the time. (PS I use toilet paper first then follow with wipes that I throw away in a plastic grocery bag I will have tied to a nearby towel rack. There is a spray I use on the wipes sometimes too to help clean. My mother is prone to uti's as well.)
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
When we’re children we need to listen to our parents. When our parents begin to act as small children do, we need to respectfully “forget” angry things they say, and assist them to stay safe and well, even if they object to accepting help, there is no other choice available to them.

You are doing the right thing.

Don’t discuss it, don’t listen to anything she says, keep her clean and safe.

Have you tried pre moistened FLUSHABLE wipes? If you leave them in the toilet for a minute or two before flushing they pretty much dissolve.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
cwillie avatar
C
cwillie Dec 2020
Wipes are nice but unless they have changed a lot even though they are marketed as such they are not flushable, in fact many municipalities have been complaining that they block sewers.
https://www.mcgill.ca/oss/article/general-science/not-advertised-case-against-flushable-wipes
(2)
Report
Perhaps a getting bidet toilet seat is the answer.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom avatar
N
NeedHelpWithMom Dec 2020
I was thinking the same thing. Bidets seem like they would be so helpful to the elderly. It’s a good compromise.
(0)
Report
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

Recent Questions


Popular Questions


Related Questions

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter