My mother has lived with me for the past 8 years and had quite the routine of knitting, reading, and word search games, along with wine in the evening and small meals I prepared for her. She turned 90 recently and this month she does not want to get out of bed. Says she is tired. She does not want her wine or coffee, but will eat some very bland things and drink ginger ale. Should I be making her get up? When I ask her if she would like to get up to talk or see the Christmas tree, she says "maybe tomorrow". What else should I be doing or do I just leave her be? Are these end of life issues? Thank you.

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I would get mom to the doctor to see what's going on. It could be end of life issues she's experiencing, but coming out of the blue like it is seems odd to me. She could be anemic which would make her tired, or low on a vitamin which could easily be supplemented. If she's truly reached the end of her life, the doctor can let you know that too and what you should be doing or not doing to make her comfortable and ease her final time on earth.
Good luck!
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My mother is 94, was living alone, all she did was sit around and feel sorry for herself. She is now in AL and has perked back up, she has made friends her age, attends activities and walks around with her walker. She is like her old self again...feisty and rude!
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This could be the start of a decline but you never know. I would encourage her to move about and sit up for a portion of each day, but if she is adamant and she is getting up for meals and to go to the bathroom and she is willing and able to shower once or twice a week then I wouldn't fuss too much about her wanting to stay where she is most comfortable and warm. If she isn't getting out of bed at all then I would be concerned, not only does it increase the work for her caregivers (is it just you?) but she may be at risk of pressure sores.
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philder Dec 2019
Thank you. I will try to get her to shower and get up a bit more considering the pressure sore issue.
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