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I have talked with her about us driving her to appointments, Uber, Lyft, taxis, and reaching out to the few friends she has. She doesn't seem to want to discuss it--understandable but I have a family as well and need to accommodate kid carpools, etc. Also, I will be returning to full time employment soon... Additionally, she is socially withdrawn, and really hates to make new friends, so I feel the pressure to make sure she is happy and secure. She is under the care of a doc for depression, etc. so I am not concerned about that, rather her further isolating herself. Any ideas of how to continue to approach the subject without complete shut down from mom? Thank you in advance...

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Thanks everyone for these ideas! I will keep trying and ultimately, let her decide what is best for her in so far as getting out--- this is a great forum!
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Uber if it's where you live. Everything gets paid over a credit card. No cash to carry. No tip to leave. My FIL learned how to use the app after showing him.
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VADCVA, not many elders will admit it is time for them to stop driving, therefore I give your Mom a lot of credit for noticing this herself. It is probably confusing for your Mom to know what to do to get from point A to point B, and she sounds like she doesn't want to be a burden to anyone.

My parents stopped driving, and they refused to ride with strangers. I also live in northern Virginia, and have seen the Loudoun County Council of Aging bus here and there. I don't know if that is an option for your Mom. You can give the Council a call at 703-777-0257.

I see from your profile that your Mom still lives on her own. Is there a trade off that could work? Like she stays at your house one or two days, during the day, and helps you with chores while you are at work, then that will give you more time to drive her somewhere.
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You're doing the best you can already, so I wouldn't go to extremes to make her happy. Probably ashamed of her condition, she isolates. That's understandable. Being known around the neighborhood as the "Woman with the Shakes" will send anyone into hiding. A car, the only escape valve or sense of total freedom she has, is going to be taken away. Being aware of the danger she poses to others on the road will only amplify the depression.

Rather than cater, present her with choices. One of them could be support groups for people with her condition. This setting will give her a chance to make new friends and reconnect with the community. Don't leave car keys laying around, that's just too tempting. There's a chance she might complain about being a prisoner, of no one taking her anywhere. Don't feed into that kind of guilt trip.

If your choices aren't good enough, let her sulk and brood until she gets tired of it. You just can't please everybody.
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We went through this with MIL who insisted I was lying about the MD saying she cannot drive. I can tell you right now she will drive anyway unless you remove the car from her house.
Six months after we stopped mom from driving, she was so bored she agreed to a one month "vacation" at Assisted Living. She liked it so much she stayed there. Something to consider.
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