She has lived there for over 30 years and the home is up for sale and she must be out by December 1, 2013. Her daughter recently passed away therefore the sale of the home. She has asked us if we could put her up, all she needs is a room, as she puts it. I am undergoing breast cancer treatments and her son, my husband has limited mobility and a heart condition. Neither of us are capable of caring for her. The other son had vascular by pass surgery for the third time and is not doing well. Our ages are 76. 67 and 72. My mother in law does not think we age at the same speed she does and of course our health issues, which she has never thought of as she never asks. She has been found nursing home eligible medically and I am in the process of completing the financial Medicaid application with a five year look back. I worked for the state for 34 years and for 9 years I processed nursing home applications. She does not want to go and has been extremely nasty and has disowned us. I think she is banking on not cooperating with the application so we will be forced to take her, but that will not happened as I am incapable of caring for her with my own health issues. How do you make her understand, we have tried reasoning with her and she has hung up on us. We live three states away and I am doing everything I can but I cannot get the proper copies of her verification without her help. We are not willing to process POA as I do not want the responsibility.