Follow
Share

She has lived there for over 30 years and the home is up for sale and she must be out by December 1, 2013. Her daughter recently passed away therefore the sale of the home. She has asked us if we could put her up, all she needs is a room, as she puts it. I am undergoing breast cancer treatments and her son, my husband has limited mobility and a heart condition. Neither of us are capable of caring for her. The other son had vascular by pass surgery for the third time and is not doing well. Our ages are 76. 67 and 72. My mother in law does not think we age at the same speed she does and of course our health issues, which she has never thought of as she never asks. She has been found nursing home eligible medically and I am in the process of completing the financial Medicaid application with a five year look back. I worked for the state for 34 years and for 9 years I processed nursing home applications. She does not want to go and has been extremely nasty and has disowned us. I think she is banking on not cooperating with the application so we will be forced to take her, but that will not happened as I am incapable of caring for her with my own health issues. How do you make her understand, we have tried reasoning with her and she has hung up on us. We live three states away and I am doing everything I can but I cannot get the proper copies of her verification without her help. We are not willing to process POA as I do not want the responsibility.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
I guess it's too late now, but I'm wondering why they didn't let her stay in her own home with a live-in-caregiver?
I agree with everyone else, it would not be wise for your own health if you allowed her to live with you.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

If MIL's being mean, nasty, and spiteful because she isn't getting what she wants, to move in with you, let her stew. Her behavior isn't helping her situation, it's only reinforcing reasons why you don't think it's a good idea that she move in with you.

It might be easier to get a POA than it is to get your MIL to sign off on necessary papers relating to Medicaid.

It doesn't sound as if your household can adequately withstand your MIL moving in, you have enough going on already. I wonder if your husband is in on all of this? If he's speaking to his mom and helping out where he can?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I agree. Don't let her put the guilt trip on you and your husband. She does have an option and whether she agrees or not, it is an option. Even if you had POA, if MIL did not want to go to NH, they cannot force her to stay. If you brought her to your home, you KNOW what it's going to be like. And you are realistic on this, too. So, just do your best dealing with her. Worst case scenario, fly down and try to get her to sign - which she might still refuse to do so.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

You are wise not to take her into your home. It would certainly shorten your life.

Maybe leave her totally alone for a week, and hopefully she will calm down and cooperate. Try not to blame her for her behavior. She is naturally terrified of the future. When you talk to her, ask her where she plans to live starting in December, and remind her it will not be in your home.

This is a very hard position for you to be in. God bless you.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter