Is my mother-in-law truly hard of hearing? - AgingCare.com

Is my mother-in-law truly hard of hearing?

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Yesterday she was carrying on a lively conversation on the telephone while the TV was turned on and it was pretty loud. She talked for a half hour or more laughing and joking and seem to be holding up her end of the conversation just fine despite the distraction of the noisy television. But this morning I went in to tell her that someone had called saying that they were going to come to visit and I had to repeat the name several times – finally practically yelling at her. She just looked at me with big eyes and I wonder is she is pretending that she can't hear me? I do not have a tiny voice :-) the room was quiet. It was just she and I in the room and I was about 10 feet from her. This happens quite often. When people come to visit she seems to have no problem whatsoever carrying on a conversation with them. But she seems to always be "deaf" when we speak to her - my husband and I. Is this an act? Am I nuts? Any suggestions. How in the world can a person not hear what someone is saying to them when you're standing right in front of them?? Could she be playing mind games? She's nearly 90 years old!

My computer is down and I am doing this on my phone which is not much fun :-) I probably won't be responding much but I certainly will be reading your replies. Thanks in advance old codger

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It's called SADID, better known as Son-and-Daughter-In-Law Deafness. Don't take it personal. She probably hears your voice so much, she just tunes you out a lot of the time and doesn't pay attention. Also called "Wife Deafness." ;)
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We learned from audiologists that hearing difficulties are in fact very sensitive to pitch, especially that of women who are soft spoken. It's the range in which some hearing deficits fall.

If can also be that one ear is more sensitive than the other. The next time she stars at you, try moving to the other side of her to see if she can hear better from the other ear.

Best thing to do is take your MIL to an audiologist for a hearing test, but find out first if they charge and confirm it again when you arriv for the appointment.

One who was aggressively pitching her services at a senior expo offered free tests but actually charged for the test.

If/when they try to sell you hearing aids at up to $4,000 per ear, gasp and say that you just don't have that kind of money and need to think over the situation.
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oldcodger2, it could be the pitch *tone* of your voice and that of your husband that your Mother has trouble with hearing.

My Mom has difficulty hearing both my Dad and myself but she is able to pick up more words when my significant other talks has his voice is lower pitched. And my Mom hears me better when we talk on a land line telephone, on both ends.
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Has she had a hearing test? Has anyone looked in her ears lately? My mom gets wax build up in one ear and has great difficulty, all of a sudden, when this happens. Also, when you tell her something, you say she looks at you with big eyes; is she telling you that she can't hear you, or indicating that in any way? Or is she confused by the information, as Pam says, is it a processing problem.
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I am totally deaf in my left ear and wear a hearing aid in my right ear. I cannot hear someone from ten feet away. If you are too far away, she cannot read your lips. Talking on a phone is no problem, because the receiver is right next to the ear blocking out any other noises. No she is not playing games. You will have to get closer for her to actually hear!
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Very likely she has processing errors in the brain. Not acting, just not processing the combination of visual and audible information.
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