My MIL (99+) says some days that she's ready to go. Any advice?

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She can still walk, lives in her own home (we are in her driveway in our RV, along with a baby monitor). I spend most of my day caring for her, doing all housework, laundry, shopping, driving, etc. Time with my husband is usually in the early am before she is up, or late evening after she's in bed. We are seriously burnout, and not sure what to do.

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I forgot to add that there is a lady who is 101 years old at the Assisted Living Facility where my cousin stays. She's in a wheelchair, but able to get around in it by herself. She has dementia, but functions well enough to live in the assisted living section and not a nursing home.
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Oh my. She does have some medical issues. She sounds like a strong woman.
You might have her assessed to determine what level of care she needs. While she may only want you and hubby to care for her, that might not be the best option. Her reasoning may not be the best either.

With her medical conditions, limitations and age, a facility that could support her on all that and administer her medications might be a good thing. If she likes to socialize, it would be great for that too. I would see if her doctor could offer any opinion on her strength and endurance. It's a tough situation.
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MIL also has severe aortic stenosis, with only about 5% or so of the valve opening, which is causing another valve to leak also. She has diabetes, and we need to watch salt intake. My husband and I are in our mid 50's, he's retired military. We really love living in the RV, don't miss a house at all, as we have all we need in this. We have been here at her place since late 2009. We don't travel much during the summer, as my husband and his brother have a water truck that they contract out to CalFire for wildfire work. I do get paid for caring for my MIL, she has Medi-Cal, and gets IHSS care, which I provide. We get some respite when we try to plan a trip, such as a yearly trip for my husband to Montana to see our daughter and her family. We plan to go back to MT when we are no longer needed here. The problem is that she really doesn't want anyone but us to care for her! On the plus side of this entire experience, I have learned so much from this lady. She's taught me the old ways of canning fruits, veggies and jellies, listening to her experiences growing up was fascinating!
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lmk1959, just read your profile... good heavens, sounds like you've been camped in her driveway for quite some time. With all the medical issues, including some dementia, that your Mom has, I would suggest maybe it is time to bring in several paid full time Caregivers or consider relocating Mom to a nice nursing facility that she might like. She probably would enjoy being around people from her generation, and I would give you and hubby more breathing room to enjoy retirement.
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Does she have any medical problems? Does she have much energy? What does her doctor say?

You certainly could use some help doing all the things you are doing. Why not look into resources that might help her. Would she be private pay or medicaid? You might check with your local council on aging and see what they can suggest. Some states have home care assistants that come to the home and help. I would see if she qualities and what it would entail, even if it's only a few days a week. Respite care may be available.

Without knowing more about her condition, I'm know sure what you might expect from her health wise, but at 99 years old, I would expect the unexpected.
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lmk, my mother does the same thing. On some days she'll say she is going to probably die that day. On other days she'll say she is going to probably live 10 more years. Either one brings dread to me, since I don't want her to die, but I certainly don't want to live here 10 more years.

How long have you been camped out in her driveway? I imagine that if you are like many of us here, you never imagined this is how you would spend your golden years. It sounds like you and hubby need to bring in some respite so you can get that RV on the road for a while. If nothing else, hiring a housekeeper seems like a good idea so you could enjoy some time together during the day.

Living life in a room or an RV is not my idea of living, but I don't have any answers. We can get out, but can need to call in help before we do. It's not fair to one person to shoulder all the burden alone.
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At 99+ MIL is going to go when it is her time to go, whether she decides she is ready or not. The remaining length of her life is not in your hands, so I assume that is not what you are asking for help with, right?

As for being seriously burned out, that is something you can do something about, I hope. You need some time away! If MIL needs 24 hour supervision, someone else needs to provide it while you and hubby take that RV on the road.

Other than age, what are her infirmities?

How old is your husband? How old are you? How long have you been camped in her driveway? Are there other family members involved?

What is her financial status? Can she afford to pay for housekeeping, laundry service, prepared meals?

I'm sorry for all the questions but having more background will enable us to give you more specific suggestions.
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