Mother-in-law (91) paranoia and nastiness. Anyone else dealing with this? - AgingCare.com

Mother-in-law (91) paranoia and nastiness. Anyone else dealing with this?

Follow
Share

She lives with my husband's younger brother and wife and accuses them of taking her things, wanting her to leave. Just recently she fell and while in rehab was acting ok but after being home for a month or so the accusations and nasty comments are back. Plus now she gives them a hard time about using her walker and taking her medicine. She has been checked by drs. And they say it is the beginning of dementia. She takes a low dosage of seriquil for paranoia but evidently it isn't working! They don't want to spend the next few years dealing with this but we don't know what other options are out there. She does not have any money for assisted living but makes a little too much for Medicaid. Any one else dealing or has dealt with this?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
27

Answers

Show:
1 2 3
i only have one brother who has health problems of his own and he doesnt want to fool wu\ith it anyway, just his personality. my kids would help but they live away.. i do have her in a home but because i am wanting to keep her house, medicaid will not help.. they only help if u have nothing but you still have responsibilities and worries even though they are there. thanks for your input...take care and GOD BLESS YOU.He is our only true help thru this
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Debbieshess...sorry to read what you are dealing with. Do you have siblings that can help out? I hope so. We are fortunate that there are 6 of us that are taking this journey with my MIL. Is a nursing home a possibility for your mother...and then possibly medicaid can take over?
And thank you MaggieMarshall for your comment about Medicaid. I was able to find out a little more info on this thru a senior advisor from this site.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

There's no such thing as making a little too much for Medicaid. If one needs custodial care and can't afford it, Medicaid will take over -- using her income to defray their expense. This is assuming she hasn't gifted her assets away. If she has, Medicaid will exclude a comparable number of months from coverage.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

yes I am going thru the same thing...I put mom in assisted living with her income barely covering the expense...then because she kept fighting and going out the windows trying to get away I had to move her to lockdown...now, I have to foot the rest of the bill on my own, which is going to make it really rough on me because my husband is deceased and I work 40 hrs per week..If I take her anything, like lotions, toothpaste, etc., she hides it bec she says they will steal it ..i have taken away her underpants bec she is constantly ruining her clothes so i make her use depends....when I go see her, she curses me and won't let up..it is a constant battle to the place where my nerves are so bad, I dont want to go back...I know itss not what you wanted to hear but it will only get worse....
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Part of the problem we are having with my MIL is that she wants to be able to do what she used to and because of her tentative and wobbly walking she needs a walker...at all times...to prevent falling, which she has done several times the last resulting in 2 mos. in rehab. This has just added to her distress despite letting her do what she can...it isn't what she wants to do and annoys her...a lot!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Yes, Pam...the lack of concern/visits from the church says so much. Aunt & uncle say bad things about me because I refuse to go there with them. Truth is that I am more of a spiritual person & have always been uncomfortable with "organized religion." You had a good suggestion about the tithe situation...if they mailed it in I could control the situation; however, they take it with them when they go. Also, uncle knows he is only one who can sign checks!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Ah yes.. 100 years ago they died at 45.. and if they lived longer they were frequently "put out of sight" in the house... Thank god those days are gone! My folks moved in with us, and they can be a handful but they are usefull and we let them know it! They just do "what they can" and we are greatful. But it can still be hard. And yes, sometimes it is hard to handle.
Butterfly.. maybe you can tell them YOU sent the money to the church for them? Too bad no one from the church visits.. tells you something does it not?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I believe that when you have spent so many years in pain, she just can't do otherwise. How do you feel and act when you are in excruciating pain and limitation. Empathy and calling Agency on aging or Dementia support can help find an approprate fit for taking care of her at all income levels. God Bless you and all you do. Take action today. ebook author of "Bold Actions for Helping Older Parents".
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

My Mom is the same. Last night I cooked us dinner, the stove got a bit messy...she saw it and BLEW her stack and proceeded to "nip" at me about the supper...finally driving me from the room before I did something I shouldn't. She threw out her supper in spite and went hungry. Could be a UTI which does very odd things to elderly or worsening dementia for my mom. Hang in, it is not you but her disease!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Sallie, none of those church people, pastor included, ever call or visit them! I have to wonder if the aunt & uncle, in their delusional thinking, believe a large tithe would somehow change that. I have known them all my life - they were & still are preoccupied with outward appearances.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

1 2 3
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions